Wetwired.org is a constantly changing entity.

Sounds pretentious, we know- but hear us out!

We started out as a Baton Rouge- based blog with intentions of becoming filthy rich. When that didn’t quite work out and we moved to Austin, we decided that we would become something different and new- a site that looks at the world, sees the inherent buffoonery and chaos of the world and tries to make sense of it through commentary, insight and toilet humor.

Somewhere along the way, we gained a few writers and lost a few. Some left and came back, and others are lost to time. We’ve changed our look constantly, but one thing remains the same- in the end, we’re here not to change the world, but to make sense of it in a way that we can live with.

Our political spectrum ranges from the deeply conservative to the damn dirty hippie. Our outlook ranges from the oddly positive to the deeply cynical. We are the average folks and the elite (well, in our own minds anyways). Mostly, we write in order to poke some fun, share some thoughts and give some insights… along with a few wildly inappropriate jokes still thrown in for good measure.

We’re Wetwired.org, and we’re going strong after a decade of this.

Stay tuned.

Pylorns (Head Honcho):
Web/Graphical Designer, self-proclaimed techno-weenie (guys who like gadgets), private pilot, and owner of wetwired. Pylorns used to spend his days in cube-gopher-tech-support-hell but has since moved up in the ranks to web administration. Pylorns writes about local Austin news, politics, tidbits, midgets, and all other assortment of things that catch his eye. Pylorns also plays co-host to the Wetwired Radio Podcasts that usually occur on a weekly basis.

Finley (Managing Editor):
The man, the mystery, the enigma, the legend. Mostly Harmless. An occasional cook and continuous food-devourer. Finley is the frequent host of the Wetwired Podcast, and his voice was the first actually heard on the Wetwired site. He’s the more cynical (and yet oddly hopeful) between he and Pylorns, and his posts tend to lean to more moderate stances on current events. His famous quote regarding the site is “I’ll post when I have something to say.” Fortunately for the continued updating of the site’s content, he’s been talking his ass off lately.

Beerslinger(Managing Editor):

Beerslinger has had more jobs already in his life than most people have in their lifetime. From working as a ranch hand, to selling comic books, to bar tending, laying tile and fixing printers Beerslinger has done just about all of it. This has given him a unique view on life and his own personal pursuit of happiness. He is spotty, shady, self righteous and vaguely illegal just to be around. Beerslinger goes into hiding from time to time, but always returns to his true home: Wetwired.

Marie Mattis (Author):

Marie is all about the current events. She is also, counter intuitively, all about the historical events. She can tell you all about what’s happening in the world, and exactly what she thinks about it. Sometimes she performs this feat through the use of allegory. She has read enough books to fill a small library, and her accumulated late fees could probably build one. Right now she cooks breakfast for tourists, and when she grows up she wants to be an astronaut. Or a cowboy.

Stacked Heel (Author):
Stacked Heel – From New Orleans, she is part geek, part playboy bunny but mostly is a living anime character. Her life is random, so will be her writings. Her geek runs deeper than she looks…an internet junkie of sorts, she loves tech, comics, gaming, shopping, Hello Kitty, and shoes. Her vices are boys, booze, bacon, and her dog’s name is Pixel. Her superpower is that she can shop most mortals to death. Much like Pixel, you will love her in spite of yourself.

Dav1x(Davis) (Technical Content Author):
Davis comes to wetwired with years of experience and currently works for a major technical web company.  We just call him the walking brain.

Larkynn (Author):
The word avid movie goer really doesn’t sum up her movie watching. 

Prax (Author):
Gamer, iPhone Jailbreaker, hamburger connoisseur.

*Disclaimer:

Many of our readers have noticed over the years that none of your friendly neighborhood Wetwired writers use their real names while writing for Wetwired. As a matter of fact, we go through great pains to disguise our true identities while on “The Interwebs”. Despite what many of you think, this is not a geek thing, (although we are geeks) and it is not simply because we like to say inflammatory things and are scared of reprisals (although Beerslinger lives in constant terror of being “on the grid”).

We protect our identities to protect our employers. It’s that simple.

Wetwired is all about exercising our First Amendment right to freedom of speech. The freedom of speech is like a muscle. If you don’t use it, and exercise it, it becomes weak and atrophied. So Wetwired has become our own, private little workout room for our freedom of speech. We voice our opinions at the top of our lungs, as well as opinions that we just think may spark debate or dialog about common problems that face us in the world today.

Some of these ideas and opinions may be fairly inflammatory, but that is the very foundation of honest discourse. You will know the truth when it is presented to you, because it will be unpleasant.

However, we do not think that this should affect our employers at all. To that end, we have taken certain steps to disguise our identities. Examples include, but are not limited to: using aliases in both writing and email correspondence to obfuscate our true identities, NEVER referring to our places of employment by name, NEVER referring to any specifics of our employment that could ever lead to someone knowing where we work, SPECIFICALLY changing vital aspects of location, field, and scope of our employment to protect our employers, and generally being all around sneaky bastards.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, we never discuss any of the internal workings, or trade secrets of our employers. This, like our freedom of speech, is a trust we hold sacred.

Although if everything goes according to the master plan our employers will never know about our alternate identities, we truly hope that they appreciate the great lengths we go through to protect them.

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