It’s over, folks. This election is finally over.

And thank fucking Christ for that.

We have a new national leader and caretaker in Barack Obama, and I hope beyond all hope that he can really bring about positive change for this country. I did not vote for him today, though my decision literally came down to a voting booth decision.

Gloria Borger of CNN called this a “watershed moment for America” a moment ago, and she’s right. This isn’t the end of racial inequity and racial strife, but it’s a damned big step.

Congratulations, Democrats. I’ll admit that you’ve earned this. Now, prove me wrong and do some real good instead of the bitter bullshit that we’ve come to see in Washington for so long.

Now…. now that this has all been said, I have some notes to point out.

- To the mainstream media, fuck you. You failed us this election cycle, completely. You failed to be the fourth estate and in your zeal to get someone elected you compromised the very ideals that a separate media should uphold. I know that the editors that led this will be able to sleep soundly at night, but the reporters that allowed themselves to be hogtied and kept from participating in what should be THEIR JOB should lose some serious rest over their complicity.

- To Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and all the demagogues that had ran racial politics since Dr. King’s assassination- get ready for a long retirement. This man from Illinois won, and he did so without your overblown and ridiculous antics helping him in any way. The road ahead to obscurity is straight ahead.

- To Hollywood- fuck you. You did not influence this election, so don’t let your already-overblown assbag egos get too lofty. You could have cost the man this election with your bullshit endorsements based solely on wanting to seem cool and hip. I- and Americans in general- are far too smart to vote for someone based solely on the endorsement of some coked-up publicity whore that can’t tie their own shoes, much less care about anything related to the issues beyond what coffee flavor they’re getting from Starbucks. I’m done with you, you miserable sheep/lemming fucks.

- To Senator McCain- you still have a good fight ahead, in the Senate. You could have been president, had you stuck to the very things that got you to the nomination. Bum Phillips said it best- “you have to dance with the one who brung you.”

- To Governor Palin- Kay Bailey Hutchinson. Condoleeza Rice. Olympia Snowe. Elizabeth Dole. All of these women were more qualified than you for the nomination. Go back to Alaska, and keep your eyes out to the West from your front porch. You cost him this election, and you know it.

And finally, to President-Elect Obama- earn this. I mean it. You have a mandate, and you’ve promised change.

EARN THIS.

Out.

So, I’m wondering something.

In the last few weeks since the conventions, a bunch of Hollywood stars and starlets have been putting out public campaigns to get people to register to vote. For example, Leo DiCaprio was on Ellen today to get people to vote and says that 10,000 people have registered since he and a bunch of other actors put out a video online. Jessica Alba is part of a print ad campaign where she wears a Hannibal Lector mask saying that “only you can silence yourself” by not registering to vote. For about 20 years, MTV has been putting out “Rock the Vote” to get kids to register at age 18.

My question is… do they want these people to register if they knew it would be as Republicans?

I’m not advocating voting either way here- I haven’t decided who I’m voting for, and my distaste for the current administration has been well-documented on this site for many years. I’ve been registered as a Republican for 12 years, but I can’t say I’m settled on voting that way this year just yet. That being said, I’m just mostly curious if these “concerned citizens” would be so gung-ho about this if they knew that they were registering Republicans by the thousands along with the Democrats they are hoping to encourage to register.

Just a thought, anyways.

Out.

Watch this video:

Rep. Maxine Waters: The report cites a December 2004 Los Angeles Times investigation disclosing how members of the congresswoman’s family have made more than $1 million in the last eight years by doing business with companies, candidates and causes that Waters has helped. Before publication of the Times investigation last year, Waters declined to be interviewed, but said of her family members: “They do their business, and I do mine.”

I really shouldn’t have to point out that this is satire, but for those of you who don’t get it.  It is.