As the newly-christened Vanilla Albatross, I feel it is my duty- nay, my imperative to respond to the serious charges that Beerslinger has lain upon this beacon of sanity and reason that is Wetwired. Is this most egregious offense against sanity and reason something that I can abide? I dare say that it is not, dear reader.

I speak, of course, of Beerslinger saying Hackers is a good movie.

Beerslinger says that Hackers is “a low budget, low class science fiction thriller, replete with bad acting and bad writing.” Had he simply refrained from further comment upon that wise and noble statement , we would have had no quarrel. However, he then says the following:

“Take another look at it if you don’t believe me. It’s Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner, without Sidney Poitier.”

…

Challenge Accepted, old friend.

I will do this, folks. For the sake of make sure I am absolutely justified in my hatred of this movie (and so that I can craft a truly epic rebuttal disputing the line of BS you see in his article) I will make the ultimate sacrifice.

That’s right- I will rewatch Hackers. Once that is done, I will give the full, uncut rebuttal that my round little friend deserves for his masterwork.

Out.

Dark Knight Movie Poster

Okay, so here’s the thing about The Dark Knight.

Rarely has a movie had THIS much hype. Going into this movie, you would believe that this movie had reached the pantheon of upper-echelon films before it ever opened. The movie had been mentioned in the same breath as The Godfather Part II and The Empire Strikes Back- and people were serious. Those two movies go beyond the idea of “popcorn movie” or “sequel” and into “true art.”

People had essentially beatified Heath Ledger in his role as “The Joker.” Never mind the fact that a comic book movie had never had a performance even nominated for an Academy Award. Now, Ledger was being virtually guaranteed a posthumous Oscar.

Both the movie and Ledger’s performance had been built up to an almost unmatchable hype.

Almost.

For you see, this movie actually meets and matches the hype. It’s been a week or so since I’ve seen the movie, and I’ve been counting down the days until I can see it again in a much better theater.

The story is essentially that which was laid out in the first movie- the concept of escalation. Everything steps up a level in this movie, from the war on crime that Batman fights, to the profound effect that his villians have upon his life and the city of Gotham.

The best story in this movie is the story arc of Harvey Dent, played brilliantly by Aaron Eckhart. The man brings about a performance that is brilliant and tragic. His rise and fall make this movie.

All I can really say otherwise is to go see this movie- though it appears most of us already have. Thus, go see it a second time. I’d like for it to knock Titanic off the perch if it can.

Out.

- Yes, we’ll be reviewing the movie.

No, not tonight- Pylorns still hasn’t seen it because he wussed out on seeing it this weekend.

The short version of the review is- believe the hype. It is that good.

- So, Myspace is getting hit by spammers/spyware douchebags.

See, it seems that people are creating myspace profiles then adding these pictures to them that would make the average unsuspecting IE user think they have to install a Windows update.

This would be great… if I weren’t using Firefox in Leopard. Naturally, I picked up on the ruse.

Fucking spammer douchebags. See, I know- I KNOW- I’ll have to fix this on my dad’s computer at some point since his family can’t figure out not to click on every damn popup that comes along. That’s going to be fun to fix- AGAIN.

Out.

Well because of my vacation, I’ve had a short work week which has been nice.  I also just got paid… what’s that song?” “Friday night.. just got paid.. money in my pocket..and I’m going to master pancake…”  Yeah, I made it rhyme.. I know. 

So tonight we’re heading out to the Alamo Ritz to see one of my favorite movies (although not my most favorite out of the Sean Connery Bonds) Gold Finger. Presented by Master Pancake.

There are also lots of new movies out that I haven’t had a chance to see and two I believe that came out today The Hulk and The Happening.  Also flics I’m very interested to see.  The Hulk is being released a 2nd time as an origins type movie because the first one blew donkey chunks.  Hopefully this one will fare better.  I’m very interested to see The Happening because aside from the Village I’ve enjoyed everything that M. Night Shamalamadingdong has done so far. Seriously, Unbreakable was awesome - better than the 6th sense.  Signs was not bad, and Lady in the Water was really good!  All of his latest flics have done so-so in the theaters but they have done well enough to allow him to continue making big budgeted flics.  I’m crossing my fingers that this one does really well. 

Anywho, hopefully Finley and I will have a chance to discuss the summer movies on our next podcast. 

Last night Jenn, Blake, and I drove downtown amidst the craziness that was the last of SXSW, found a decent place to park and trekked to the new Alamo Draft House.  This was our first time at the new one which is now located in the old Ritz.  It is slightly larger than the original downtown location in that it has 2 screens instead of just one.  Mondo Tees is also tightly integrated in the corner of the theatre as well for all your 80’s style t-shirts.

We got to the sold out showing about 45 minutes early and had to wait around for a bit prior to seating but once we were down, we enjoyed our perfect seats as others struggled to find a good spot.  For me it was my first time seeing this type of event, and I can tell you I’ll be back again for the next one.  For those of you familiar with Mystery Science Theatre 3000, Master Pancake is the same thing cept imagine watching it on crack.  The Austinist did a great interview with them this past February.

This February, Master Pancake plays host to the reunion of two original cast members from the Sinus Show: John Erler (the tall bald one) and Owen Egerton (the compact ginger nut), who, along with pal Joe Parsons, lampoon Back to the Future (1985), a film so iconic that for a brief period in the mid-80’s it convinced people that DeLoreans, Burger King, and Huey Lewis and the News were hip. Michael J. Fox (FAMILY TIES, TEEN WOLF) plays, well, Michael J. Fox — or Marty Mc Fly as he’s called here — who travels back in time in order to save his professorial pal ‘Doc’, played by Christopher Lloyd (CLUE, STAR TREK III). Along the way, Mc Fox ends up inventing Rock ‘n Roll, changing the future, and almost dating his own mom. Oedipally complex, this movie features a brilliant performance from indie-icon Crispin Glover as Marty’s exquisitely milquetoast dad, who eventually learns how to sock it to Biff. Time Mc Flys when you’re having fun, and you’ll be having 1.21 jigowatts of it this February, with film-embellishers John, Owen and Joe, weekends at the Alamo Ritz, Village, and So. Lamar. (John)

Seeing one of my old favorites of Back to the Future was a great way to be introduced, aside from the many Michael J. Fox Parkinson’s jokes.  The comedians stopped the movie in the middle to act out in full costune a little skit in which, Marty has the shakes.  I actually felt sorry for the guy doing it as he was getting pretty damn tired jumping around.  All in all very cool, catch the next Master Pancake Theatre the rest of this month doing ET.  Unfortunatly for you, this was the last Back to the Future they will be doing.

[ratings]

Yes, I’ve seen it.

Twice.

Both times, I was glued to the screen, loving the movie.

For once, Michael Bay rules.

Out.

If you had your choice between two movies: SideKicks staring Chuck Norris or “Dude Where’s my Car?” which movie would you pick? Rules: you have to sit in a room and watch this movie on repeat for 24 straight hours.

This is from a conversation with Dedphul and Cheeseman over this weekend at Disney. post your thoughts on which movie in the comment section.

8/15 - AUSTIN

9:30 PM BEERFEST Screening at the Alamo Drafthouse sponsored by our friends at Aint It Cool News.

DAMNIT! I didn’t find out soon enough and all the tickets/everything is gone for this. All of the guys from Broken Lizard will be there.

Hey folks - Harry here - Monday Evening… Ahem - You can STOP SENDING EMAILS NOW. I’ve received well over 1700 seat requests for a 200 seat auditorium. I’m in the process of going through those emails and picking the groups and individuals that seem willing to get the most shitfaced for this here… BEERFEST event. There’s a great deal of enthusiasm for this event and I have a ton of emails to go through. By tomorrow night - I’ll publish the list on this page of names + the number of guests each name is allowed to bring. Best of luck and I wish all of you could get drunk with Broken Lizard and AICN at the Alamo Drafthouse South!

That was posted by the fat bastard himself on aint it cool news site.

As you guys know I travel a great deal for my job, which makes it hard sometimes to keep up with the site and with movies, which is a shame since I am such a movie nut. Recently while in Ruston, La. Glowing town that it is, I managed to catch Lady in the Water finnally. Just as I predicted, it was good. Yes it did start out somewhat slow, but once it got going it was really pretty darn good. I think the main part is, you have to suspend your concept of whats real and what isn’t and allow M. Night Shaymalan to take you into his world. I guess you could say that you need to still have that small kid in you that you can tap into and allow to be the viewer instead of some critical wanker looking for the sudden plot twist or the hidden meaning behind the movie. Entertainment value, very good. And its true, the supporting character who is the movie critic gets exactly what was coming to him.

I think one of the stranger more interesting parts is that fact that Mr Heb (Paul Giamatti) is working or doing something that is completely different from what he studied and did prior to “the incident”. I’m not going to spoil it for you, other than to say its very interesting. Go see it before its gone, or rent the DVD when it comes out on video. .

Head over to http://moviebuddies.net wetwireds sister site to get the latest on movie news trailers, and participate on the forums. The idea behind movie buddies is basically allowing people who are movie fans to discuss and schedule meets to go and see movies as a group. The site has not officially launched but you can get a sneak peak, sign up on the forum now for a limited time! How’d you like that corporate advertising speach? Anyway, check it out, we like it, and we are looking for help with it as well.

Roger Ebert aparently didn’t like M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie Lady in the Water. It boils down to a fairytale that originanted from him telling a story to his daughters. Of course thats one freaky fairytale to tell your kids.. but hey, if you’ve seen the American Express commercial, then you can expect it. Aparently its too confusing for the self absorbed movie critics who are looking or expecting some hidden meaning. Maybe beacause this movie lacks Shaymalan’s trademark “twist” at the end, they felt the need to bash it. The funny thing is, if you look a the reviews for the Village, they didn’t like that movie either.

Shyamalan is one of the movie industry’s most bankable directors, with his four major films–”The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable,” “Signs,” and “The Village”–achieving an average domestic gross of $160 million, which compares favorably to numbers rolled up by Steven Spielberg, Peter Jackson, and the Wachowski brothers. In terms of revenue, Shyamalan far outpaces better-known contemporaries like Quentin Tarantino, Tim Burton, Cameron Crowe, Kevin Smith, and the Farrelly brothers.

His films have featured actors from a revolving troupe drawn from all Hollywood strata: A-listers (Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis); children (Haley Joel Osment, Rory Culkin); young stars (Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, Bryce Dallas Howard); veterans (William Hurt, Sigourney Weaver); a Tony winner (Cherry Jones); and Samuel L. Jackson (Samuel L. Jackson). His next film, “Lady in the Water” is scheduled for a July release and stars Paul Giamatti and Howard. And like his prior movies, it was filmed in Pennsylvania, where Shyamalan lives.

So ignore the bad press, because if you like M Nights previous movies, most likley you’re gonig to enjoy this one as well.

Thats right from the horses mouth. And damn was that movie ( Clerks II ) funny. For those of you that don’t know, Austin had a sneak premier tonight of Clerks II. Writer and Director Kevin Smith flew in to introduce it, and then answered questions afterwards. Dav1x, Amy and myself managed to get tickets.. at $37 bucks a pop. wow someone thought about that one…

After the movie, Dav1x stated its the best that Kevin smith has ever done, and me, I tend to agree. Dav1x continued saying that the movie left you seeing a more mature Smith, one that has actually made it as a film maker. Starting the film, you get the sense that its going to be all the same old humor:dick and fart jokes. But walking out you realize that its all new dick and fart jokes. Er um, no, you realize that its a new sort of movie, while funny and juvenile, it turns out to be a real movie( as opposed to a fake one) in that its got some meaning to it. Of course the Silence of the Lambs bit and the pillow pants bit are both pure genius.

And in case your wondering, yes the fat bastard was there. Like any of Austin Film screenings, you can expect it; He and his father both sporting wheelchairs I might add.

Here is Kevin outside the paramount on the red carpet.

And after the movie he gave a question and answer session that lasted for as long if not longer than the movie. You can clearly see that his wit in his writing is exactly the same as in person. And the man loves myspace. I mean, is addicted to it.

Thanks Kevin for coming to Austin and giving out the free swag, although since we bought our tickets online we didn’t get a chance, but unlike the other people that bitched and whined we were happy just to see you in person.

The Oscars just finished up, and there were a few surprises tonight- several, in fact.

The first was that Jon Stewart was really, really funny- and not in the typical totally sarcastic way but in an accessable way. The jokes were consistently good, which helped.

Second, Save for a few subtle references there was almost no- read ZERO- political activism tonight. Unlike years past, there were no grandiose speeches about how evil the government is (though I attribute last year’s crapfest to the just-finished election more than anything) or how the polka-dotted baby sperm whale needs to be protected. George Clooney, early on, set the mark for classiness and general good behavior when he won Best Supporting Actor. Fortunately, people following him met his example.

Third was Reese Witherspoon winning Best Actress for Walk The Line. I haven’t always beenn a fan of her, but her performance as June Carter was incredible. It was a pleasant surprise to see her win. I’ll have to see Capote before I can tell whether or not Joaquin Phoenix was robbed for Best Actor, though.

All in all, not too bad a show. Plus, only a couple self-masturbatory clip segments touting how Hollywood is good and all. So, there was that.

Out.

Went and saw Walk the Line last night with fellow blogger. Not a bad movie at all ringing in at a little over 2 hours. I think it is deserving of the Oscar nominations, much like Ray was last year. Hopefully it’ll win the majority of the categories it was nominated for and Backdoor mountain won’t win any. Cross your fingers folks.

Big Suprise here… a movie about gang violence….
50 Cent Movie Pulled After Pa. Shooting
AP (11-10) 18:18 PST Homestead, Pa. (AP) –

The new 50 Cent movie “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” has been pulled from a theater where a man was fatally shot even though officials said Thursday they do not know whether the film was a factor in the slaying.

Loews Corp. decided to stop showing the rapper’s bullet-ridden bio while the investigation is going on, said John McCauley, the company’s vice president of marketing.

“We’re unclear whether there is a direct connection,” McCauley said.

He said the company is doing all it can to make sure patrons are safe at the 22-screen multiplex in a popular entertainment-and-shopping complex just east of Pittsburgh.

Shelton Flowers, 30, had just watched the rapper’s movie Wednesday when he got into a confrontation with three men in the bathroom. A fight ensued and spilled out into the concessions area, where Flowers was shot, police said.

Authorities were looking for witnesses, and no suspects were immediately arrested.