You all remember the Star Wars Kid, right? That poor husky kid who was just trying to get his jedi on, tripped a few times, and became like, the first viral video meme, got laughed out of his school, had to move and is in some Viral Protection Plan somewhere trying to maintain obscurity?
Well, he can finally exhale, because THIS kid’s freakout over his WoW account being canceled by his mom trumps that in all ways possible. The Benny Hill remix is kind of gold. Golden salt in the wounds.
WoW kid’s Freakout.

Easter Egg for the Palm Pre- and this is good. Remember the old Konami code? Type that into your Palm Pre and it unlocks the Developer Mode. Just type it all out on the keyboard, and it will bring up a new card and a switch to turn on the Dev mode. Reset your Pre and you’ve got the Mojo SDK.

Anything with the Konami code rocks. Dig it.

[via Engadget]

Apple’s new baby is the iPhone 3GS.
S is for Speed. It’s processor is super fast so you can do everything fasterrrrr.
The new hardware:
fasst
3mp autofocus camera
Video. 30fps and VGA. You can also do some slight editing on the iPhone 3GS.
Voice command
Compass
Nike+

And of  course, you get the new 3.0 OS upgrade.

Also, keeping existing iPhone 3G on the market for $99.
The 16 and 32 both come in black and white. How much?

16GB- from $199
32GB- from $299
Comin atcha June 19.
You can pre-order it now, of course:

iPhone 3GS at the Apple store

I will have a full post on the WWDC soon enough, but I know this is what you guys really wanted to hear.

Feel like goin out and hittin the club? Tired of the same ol Ladie’s Night specials? Well, thank goodness there’s a new club night poppin. Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaa host “Hot For Teacher Night” at Seattle Nightclub Fuel. I seriously wish I lived in Seattle just to witness this.
I mean, is she even still hot enough to host such a night?

Mary Kay Letourneau And Vili Fualaa Host A “Hot For Teacher” Night

So my younger sister got married. I was MOH,
and at the reception, my cousin told me that her husband (whom I had
just met that night) said about me, “Now THAT girl. She knows how to
party and have a good time”

So, apparently, I have the Party Girl appearance. Even at a wedding
reception, in a floor length gown. At first, I was like, “Yeah I rock”
but then I was all

0.0 waitaminute!

Is being The Good Time Girl keeping the boys away? Is it a long-term
turnoff? So I start thinking about it, and yeah, actually, that’s a lot
of people’s first impression of me: She Brings the Fun.

The funny thing is, I’m not actually The Party Girl. I’d rather cozy
up with someone and chill. But being single, I do have to make an
effort to get social so I don’t fall into “crazy cat lady who is alone”
syndrome.

So, I wonder, is a Party Girl persona actually a turnoff to the kind of guy who would want to actually date me?

…ponder.

it’s 2am.
I leave for NYC in a few hours.
I have not packed.
I have not gotten down my suitcase from my storage closet.
I had a major crisis 2 days ago. I think I have lost my video editor to personal dramahs, and full on girl panicked. (you’d think I was a theatre major, b/c I’m in so many dramas) and I HAD to get a good video up of my LG Versa phone unboxing for my tech podcast.

Why? Because I’m going to be live on cnet.com’s super ultra hilarious podcast The 404. Yeah. The real cnet.com.

So I had to have a great video up. And in my mind, I was out my editor who made me look gorgeous on screen. I e-panicked to a few peeps, and I must be one lucky biatch, b/c in addition to my great friends, my mentor, peer, and favorite internet boy talked me off the ledge. And in the end, my editor came by and helped me out in the end. I’ll miss him and the great things he’s done for me, but I guess we all have to move on.

So I this leaves me still unpacked, and I think I’ll just catch some badly needed z’s, pack some jeanses and buy teeshirts while i’m up there.

or just wear my bridesmaid dresses all week.

I’ve had a strange day. Strange even for me. Today on  facebook, I see all these R.I.P posts on a friend’s page, and I am very very confused, and I track down some friends to get the news, and I find out that one of my childhood friend’s had died. By his own hand. And I found this out on Facebook. I had reconnected with him a couple of years ago, walking around my ‘hood and it was great. We talked and caught up and found out that we both have the same favorite coffeeshop to go to where we can actually get work done.

I grew up with this guy, we were in the same community where all the parents were friends and so all the “Kids” as we called ourselves hung out whenever there were events and socials, etc. Since I wasn’t allowed to have outside friends from school and stuff, these people were my social life. I was of the younger set, and got to party with the older kids and he was definitely a big part of my growing up.

Facebook is great for reconnecting with people from my past, and I suppose the best thing I can say in this situation is that I’m glad that I got to see him in person and talk with him on Facebook before this happened.

Also, it’s really really strange to see someone’s profile and all the posts being RIP and “you will be missed” etc. It’s weird to know that he’ll never update his page again. And what will become of it? Who has access to his login information? If no one does, will it just stay up until they delete it out of inactivity?

Strange affairs to be included in tying up the loose ends of someone’s life. If something were to happen to me, honestly, the internet would be the first to notice. It’s happened before. When I was offline for days after the big online dumping from Iraq, it was the internets that kept checking up on me, tweets wondering where I was, emails and IM’s checking to see if I was ok.

Strange days indeed.

um…
yeah, I got nothing, just watch and marvel.

…no, it’s not an episode of SNL’s Dog Show sketch with Will Farrell and Molly Shannon, which it should be.

The world’s first transgenic dogs are a litter of four cloned beagles that glow red under ultraviolet light.

What the hell, Bobby?

The world’s first transgenic dogs are a litter of four cloned beagles that glow red under ultraviolet light.
Yes. there are now glow in the dark puppies:

The puppies were cloned by a team led by scientists at Seoul National University in South Korea. They used a virus to infect canine fibroblast cells with the glowing gene, then cloned cells to produce 344 embryos implanted into 20 dogs, producing seven pregnancies.

A team led by Byeong-Chun Lee of Seoul National University in South Korea created the dogs by cloning fibroblast cells that express a red fluorescent gene produced by sea anemones.

Lee and stem cell researcher Woo Suk Hwang were part of a team that created the first cloned dog, Snuppy, in 2005. Much of Hwang’s work on human cells turned out to be fraudulent, but Snuppy was not, an investigation later concluded.

This new proof-of-principle experiment should open the door for transgenic dog models of human disease, says team member CheMyong Ko of the University of Kentucky in Lexington. “The next step for us is to generate a true disease model,” he says.

Fluorescent Puppies – Neatorama

There’s no escaping the meteoric rise of Twitter in the past few months, with it getting mentions on morning tv shows, celebrity gossip shows, it’s been pushed to the forefront of everyone’s internet consciousness. There was also a much-publicized Twitter Race to a Million Followers between Ashton Kutcher and CNN.

Right after the Twitter War, ev, the CEO of Twitter posted this cryptic message: “Tomorrow just became a very big day” What would it be?

Turns out, the big news is that Oprah is now on Twitter, and it’s really her. Game On. Will her “Oprah Effect” be as influential in 140 characters as it is on her show? Well, by noon of her inaugural day she had almost 1000 followers, by 4pm (CST) she had almost 100,000 followers, and only 6 benign updates (someone please get her a Reuben). And this was just the soft opening. The hook was that she was going to make her Twitter Debut live on her show.

I am curious to see what she will do with Twitter. She’s already an adopter of new media and technology, often Skyping in people onto her show. I’ve been asked if her legions of apostles are even internet savvy. I’m postive many of them are, if it’s just to go internet shopping. If she tweets out her Favorite Things? Oh Hell. Bitches will be crashing some servers to get to them. Ever watch an Oprah’s Favorite Things show? The level of screaming and cheering women rival that of The Beatles or a Barack Obama appearance. You can’t get them to shut up. If she will tweet out discount codes or free shipping to get the stuff she recommends, I fear the internets will become one huge Fail Whale. It could take this country right out of the recession. Two things power the internet, and that’s porn and women who shop online. I’ve seen instances where a discount code and secret sale is leaked onto a women’s makeup and shopping message board and they have crashed Sephora and Nordstrom’s sites getting to it. Yes, Oprah could break the internets with the right free ship code.

She could use it for good as well, I suppose, her book club recommendations and her various causes. There’s lots of Twittering for charity lately. Many of the Twitterati has been behind a lot of charitable tweeting, and I think Ashton Kutcher’s hook to get him to 1M follwers included mosquito nets in third world countries. Does she still do her book club? Twitter would be another good way to get her book recs out to her apostles and keep em reading.

So, while there is a certain undercurrent rumblings of people displeased with such a high-profile person on Twitter, I have high hopes for Oprah’s use of it. Hopefully more than just an update to who’s going to be on her show. I think she can use it for good.

She might need an internet coach and Social Media Marketer on her team, my favorite celebrity twitter-er, THE_REAL_SHAQ pwns her after she makes her inaugural post:

twitter, oprah, ashton kutcher, cnn, larry king, aplusk, shaq

So I’m checkin on my new followers on twitter, and as I’m checking out profiles to see if peeps are legit or spammers, I peep some girl’s site and the first thing that is emblazoned across her site in big pink and purple Comic Sans (my favorite pet peeve) is “I am looking for a new boytoy, I am not picky about looks, all I care about is the size of your cock…if you have a nice big dick and want a shot at this hot body, email me”

Then directly after that subtle statement, in her “About Me” she states: “First let me tell you that I am a real girl and I deserve your respect. Just because I am a nude model doesn’t mean that I am a whore. Please take that into consideration before you try to contact me.”

What? pwahahaha. Even I have to call bullshit on that. You can’t hold open call for dick, then backtrack and say “wait, I’m no whore, respect me!” She’d be a much more valid candidate for some respect if she owned up to her hunt for dick.

Ok I’ve given this little blip too much time already. But I was amused.

Urban myth goes viral. In the middle of the day, I get a text message from some mystery number to “NOT GO TO WALMART TONIGHT! IT’S GANG INITIATION NIGHT.  YOU WILL GET SHOT. IT WAS ON THE NEWS”
What the hell, bobby?
I brush it off as a mistext. Then it starts popping up on my twitter feed that everyone is getting this warning. Then my Facebook (yes, I hate the new layout too) peeps start posting up how they are getting the messages too. And it’s peeps from all over the place, not just in my city. Then TheBeanCast writes this article about the hoax, and MSNBC posts this.
It’s been a while since a good hoax went wild. What has been your favorite hoax/urban myth?

While I’m no expert on the wide world of fetish, I came across this and thought, eh, Safe for Work, they must be pretty mild or at least humorous. It starts out that way, but then the associated videos drive home how real and in some cases, real disturbing they are.

The Rundown:
PiggyBack Rides.
And no, not the “hey girl, come ride on my shoulders…other way around” way. From a piggybacker:
“A month ago, when intoxicated, I asked another male friend from Canada to piggyback me. Although the entire session only lasted a minute or two, my sexual drive (not specifically for him) suddenly sparked, more than alcohol can ever do. Halfway through the piggyback, I maneuvered myself to hold on his front, dangling there like a koala.”
that poor friend. Although, they would have a field day at Mardi Gras.
The video sample involves a guy who likes to ride the shoulders of specifically older men. eewh.

Balloons.
Um. I can’t dig on this one. Blowing up balloons till they burst? Climbing into weather baloons? Didn’t Howie Mandel do the thing where he blew up a medical glove with his head? I am now suspect it was a way to satisfy this fetish.

Bike/Air Pumps.
Inflate yourself till your belly is distended and your gut is about to burst. gah. This just sounds incredibly incredibly painful. My stance is, if I’m going to be huge, I would like to fill my belly with pork products. But, I’m not here to judge. That is what the comments section is for.

Statues.
Ok, this is really interesting. This article breaks it down into two types – Medusa fetishists and agalmatophilia.
The Medusa Fetishists are into people who have been turned into stone. I can wrap my head around this one, statues are representations of real people, and if it’s a really bangin’ statue, then i suppose one could pretend it’s a really solid blow up doll.
Also, the article points out that if one is into statues and has a way with Photoshop, they snag pics of people and filterize them into statues, cyborgs, whatever. It can’t be all that bad if it furthers the creative process.
Agalmatophilia, however, is straight up statue humping. Apparently, in 1877, there was a guy who tried to get it on with the Venus de Milo. Perhaps that is how her arms really fell off.

The video that comes with this example is a Must Watch. A girl has a statue of liberty in her house and lovingly romances it. It really is wierder than someone just going to town on a statue.

Gas Pedals.
This is a good solid fetish. Watching someone step on the gas, pump the brakes, trying to start stalled cars, brake failures…get it all at Pedal-Pumping.com.

All the videos are here and really, are worth the watch. Isn’t the internet the best? We never would have gotten a peek into this without it.
5 Ridiculous (Safe for Work) Fetishes

Ok, I saw the movie Watchmen over the weekend. I am going to say this up front: I. did. not. read. the. graphic novel.
So this review is strictly on what I saw and perceived and not a comparison to the adaptation of the graphic novel in any way. Fanboys, don’t mob me. I have, however, talked to boys who have read the graphic novel and have discussed what the differences have been in the movie adaptation. So here’s a girl’s review of the movie:

I don’t know if it’s my age (I had a milestone mid-life crisis inducing birthday last week) or if it’s because I have a therapist and am chronically still single at this age, but one of the things that I realized in the Watchmen was that every single one of them was a classic archetype of Which Guy Women Should Avoid/daddy complexes:

The Comedian: The Bad Boy. Hot, super alpha-male, oozing testosterone, smart but not to be trusted. He’s got an unsettling mean streak.
Doctor Manhattan: Emotionally Unavailable, Peter Pan syndrome. Passive Aggressive and oh so emo.
Ozymandias: Intellectual Narcissist.
Rorschach: Sociopath, Moral tight-ass, with short guy syndrome rage.
Nite-Owl: non-alpha male, weak chin, kind of wishy washy but the nice guy, you like his respect for you, but wish he was more like the Comedian in badassery. You hope he’s into more than missionary, but he probably isn’t. Yes he’s nice. He finished last.
And they all kinda hate women on some level. They all came from pretty dysfunctional parental backstories.

I do like the panel by panel adaptation, and once I flipped through the graphic novel, I have to give props to the casting director, because the casting of the actors was excellent. I’m not sure what made the movie so meh, it’s not like it was garbage in=garbage out. I understand why the graphic novel is so acclaimed. Maybe it’s because the superheroes really were just people, and when it comes down to it, people and their foibles really can be pretty…meh.

What’s the best way to unwind after 3 weeks of partying for Mardi Gras?

The G-String Awards, of course. The G-String Awards is a yearly national stripper contest where the creme de la creme of dancers are invited to compete. The 4 day dance off started this year right after Mardi Gras and I got comped to go to the first night of competition. Best Ash Wednesday I’ve spent in a long…well, ever.

It’s held at the Penthouse Club in New Orleans, and as I walked in, I felt a strange flash of familiarity. Then I realized that it used to be The Gold Club and the last time I was there was way back in the day. I don’t know if i was even of legal age to be in there, I was with a friend who knew the dj there, so we hung out backstage and got free drinks all night. I had been working at Bath and Body Works and I remember that all the dancers smelled like their Country Apple scent.

There were 15 girls and for being the first night, they were all pretty amazing. I wish I had gone on the last and final night to see them pull out all the stops. There seemed to be a few things involved in every routine: the costume, the prop, and the water/squirting colored paint competition.

The props ranged from a mini motorcycle, to fire-eating, and doing something with some kind of electrical Craftsman tool thing that created sparks when she took it to her steel bustier (I’m a girl, I don’t know from tools or home improvement) those acts were more of an “oh my gah” than arousing.

Then the waterworks. Almost every dancer had this portable shower attached to a baby swimming pool with a chair rig. Pretty awesome. My geek kicked in and i thought – would it not be awesome if they had this on their showerheads:

If they didn’t do the shower thing, there was a clear bowl to emulate the champagne glass routine, and one dancer squirted paint on herself and mashed herself on tshirts to throw to the crowd. Much hotter than the Farrah Fawcett stunt.

Of all the contestants, Schevelle rocked my world. She was absolutely amazing. Opened up in a Michelle Pfifer Catwoman outfit to Janet Jackson’s Black Cat, complete with whip, then went into an insane performance to GnR’s Welcome to the Jungle. She worked that shit so hard, me and my friend were making the most noise in the whole club. We both are slightly obsessed with that song, me for Guitar Hero, and my friend has been obsessed with GnR since she was 11. For a while, she convinced herself that Axl Rose was her dad. So we were so pumped for Schevelle. I like to think she saw us and we helped amp up her performance. She even directly threw me a poster of her. woo! Then she rocked her shower like nobody’s business. I really really hope that she won, because she has tons of stage presence, smiled like she was really enjoying herself, did not appear to be coked out of her mind, no visible boob job scars, and is so very very hot, even in the face. She’s someone I’d just love to go and have a good time with. She seems like she’d not even make me feel insecure for not being so hot. I think she must have a great sense of humor too, b/c she had two huge blow up palm trees as her background and stuffed animal tigers which could have been detrimentally silly if she hadn’t had such awesome attitude.

All in all I had a great time at the Awards and will probably go again next year. Also, the other friend that I was with, a guy I had known for years, suggested that I could totally be a contestant. Come to think of it, I have had many very respectable people tell me in very respectable situations that I could easily be a dancer, or have I done it before, because it “seems like I’d be great at it.”

Also, back in the day when I had first come to the Gold Club, my friend at that time said I would make a great dancer. I was about 16 at the time…and everyone I told that I was at the G-String Awards thought that I meant I had competed, not just watched. This conclusion that my missed calling is to be a dancer is a huge compliment, especially after seeing this show. Then fully depressing because I’m looking at 20 more years of mortgage prison just working a day job. Had I become a dancer, I’m sure I could have my mortgage payment covered and in my underwear in two nights. I also  hate mornings. It’s the worst, most painful part of my day. I’ve never liked working a traditional job. I can’t believe I wasted my youth with all that book-learnin.

Well, I still get carded for cigarettes, maybe I’ll hit up Flynt’s Barely Legal Club on ameteur night…

Penthouse, stripper, G-String Awards