- Xander Harris, “Buffy vs. Dracula”, Buffy The Vampire Slayer
I’ve had it.

So, last night I go to the state fair. I’m having fun, but from the beginning I am slipped into the role that I seem to have to wear so often. I become the butt of the jokes.

It’s fairly easy for me to be the self-deprecating guy. That’s a natural part of my personality, and something that I’ve developed and somewhat encouraged. As a result, it’s easy for others to make fun of me. Because of my own social issues, I take it.

I’ve gotten used to that.

The part that gets me so pissed off is the following. After I’m expected to take some pretty nasty stuff by others who then try to shrug it off with “Oh, lighten up, it’s just a joke,” I am then also expected not to reciprocate. Heaven forbid I actually do something so gauche as give back a little of what I’ve taken.

When I do this with most individuals, it’s actually not a big deal. They see it as me giving back, they know it’s good-natured and the game continues. The people with whom I can do this, it’s all good. Pylorns is a good example of this type of person. I’m not talking about them in this post.

I’m talking about the rest of you. The ones who have no problem giving me more and more shit, but then get “offended” when I decide to give back. This happened last night.

One person there, a single woman (we’ll call her B), had decided she would make fun of me by subtly (and at times, overtly) implying I am gay. Now, I have long accepted many of my homosexual brethren as people who are just trying to find something or someone in this world that makes them happy, and I have neither quarrel or issue with them on that.

However, I am not gay. I am very much straight. And after several hours of this and other jokes at my expense, I decided that it was time to assert my heterosexuality.

We’re walking around, and I’m doing my usual thing of just being generally humorous rather than taking specific shots at someone. B goes at me again, and this time I respond with a crack at her. Not expecting it, she laughs and keeps going on.

As we’re leaving, she says something that to my ears (and to the ears of the folks in the back of the car- which I’m driving because I’m the only sober one there, shockingly) sounds like “lick me.” I said to B “Did you just say ‘lick me’?” Now, I knew full well that she hadn’t. It wouldn’t make sense in what we were talking about. However, I was going for the obvious laugh when I got from the folks in the car. She laughs too, and says “Oh, that’s not what I was saying.”

At this point, I reply with “Hmph, too bad. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Everyone laughs again, though this time her laugh is much quicker, she says she’ll hold back on what she would say, as we drive on. The car quiets down, more from everyone being tired (and in all but one case, quite inebriated), and we get back to the place we all met up.

Now, B had had quite a bit to drink. She’d also commented many times on how she was “a lightweight” when it came to drinking. She also lives in my apartment complex. Being someone that’s seen a man drive away drunk and never get home again once before, I make the offer to drive B home and bring her back in the morning to get her car. She refuses, and she’s a bit curt with me now.

On the way out, I’m still a bit worried. I call her, and ask that she give me a call or text when she gets home- again, at this point I’m more concerned than anything. She says “fine,” and hangs up.

Now, I’m thinking that she was pissed that I did this. I shrug it off, and when I get home I don’t hear from her. It’s about 20 minutes later when I get a one word text - “home.”

I reply, saying “Cool. Sorry if I upset you.” I’m referring in this case to asking her to call me once she was off the roads. I get a one word reply, again- “night.”

Now, understand this- B likes to communicate. A lot.

A LOT.

There were times where she would be talking, ask a question, and keep talking. I would begin to answer, and she would just keep on talking. And talking. We’re not even talking about important stuff, either. It’s just a continuous blathering on about things that are of so little substance that I have trouble keeping up even if I wanted to do so.

It doesn’t help that for about a period of 3 months, mutual friends of ours (whom had introduced us) were trying to set us up together. Because of this, there’s always been something of an unspoken tension. She thought that I would ask her out, and I’ve thought about it before ultimately deciding that she wasn’t my type.

All of this led to this morning.

I called a friend who had gone with the group last night, and I said “Well, looks like I pissed B off last night.” Again, I’m thinking about the call on the drive home. It turns out I had pissed her off, but it had been much earlier in the night.

You can probably see where this is going.

My friend G (also a woman) said that I got this woman upset with the “too bad” line. G said that she was a little surprised at what I said, but had immediately dismissed it and thought it was funny. She said that B thought I was hitting on her, and that combined with the offer to driver her home made it look like I was being too forward.

Normally, when I upset someone I immediately feel bad about it and want to make amends. Witness the message I’d sent to her last night. This time, though… I was pissed.

I mean, really pissed. I take crap all night. I do so because generally, I’m a good natured guy. When I finally give back, I’m expected to take even MORE shit for it?

Not gonna happen.

I’m done with that. I’m done with being the guy that everyone gets to make fun of and just takes it from the beginning. From now on, I’m on the giving side instead of just taking it. And so far as B goes?

Well, let’s just say that any concern she may have had about me wanting to ask her out has been immediately cleared right the fuck up. That will be the absolute least thought in my mind from here on out.

I want to find someone who I can enjoy being with, who I can have a conversation with that doesn’t make me want to jump out of the car or go deaf, and whom I have a similar sense of humor. I want to find someone who stimulates me mentally and physically, and for whom the most attractive thing about them is their mind.

In other words, someone the exact opposite of B.

Out.

Tags: asshats, OKC, Personal Stuff
Posted in Life |

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 21st, 2008 at 12:28 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.