7:22- Okay, so far the show has been alright. Conan O’Brian did a good opening monologue. Still, Jaime Pressley got SCREWED, as did both Gregory Itzin and Shatner.

Fuckin’ Megan Mullaly and Alan Alda, winning just because Will & Grace and West Wing are off the air.

This may be a long night. I’ll be posting through it all.

More after the jump, folks. This’ll be a long post.

7:25- Bob Newhart still rocks. Hope the air lasts.

7:28- I don’t CARE if Blythe Danner is an acting legend. Jean Smart got SCREWED, so add her to the list. And now, I see we have Chasing Amy’s Jason Lee on tv with Jaime Pressley.

Damn, she’s hot. And these two are funny together no matter what.

7:30- FINALLY, one I agree with. Piven wins for Best Supporting Actor for Entourage, and.. jeez, he looks like hell. Dude looks either drunk or in the midst of a breakdown. The fluffer joke rocked, though- and, he was quick up there. Props to him.

7:35- The Segway podium. Yeah, about as funny as it sounds.

7:38- 2 in a row that don’t suck. Kelly McDonald wins Best Supporting Actress in a movie or miniseries. The Girl in the Cafe was awesome, and she was quite good in it. And maybe it’s a bit disturbing, but is it wrong that I just saw a pregnant Heidi Klum and all I noticed was her… presentation?

7:41- The Guardian, starring Kevin Costner and Ashton Kutcher. In other words, Backdraft 2: Hot Coast Guard Action!

7:42- The Telemundo camera. Okay joke, but referring to it as a waste of time and then going to Bob in the airtight can was funny.

7:45- Please, don’t let Bill Maher win.

7:45:15- Groovy. The Daily Show does indeed still rock.

7:47 Must… focus… on something other than… Jennifer Love Hewitt’s spetacular body.

Football… must think football… screw it! AOOOOGAH!!! (WOLF WHISTLE!!!)

Oh look, there’s Cloris Leachman. Okay, I’m good. (As a side note, Pylorns and I saw Beerfest this weekend. Movie rocked, and she was quite funny in it.)

7:50- And My Name Is Earl has won its first Emmy for directing. And this guy is actually funny, too.

7:52- Arrested Development is a show I’ve never watched, so I can’t say it was brilliant. My Name Is Earl, on the other hand, IS brilliant and it winning Best Writing for the pilot is sweet. The writer issuing “no thank yous” was FUNNY AS HELL, especially not thanking God after taking his hair.

7:53- Am I the only one who finds the Mac guy in the Mac vs. PC commercials to be a smug, pretentious, condescending prick?

7:57- NBC’s ads for their new season aren’t too bad tonight. And here’s Simon Cowell to introduce a tribute to Dick Clark. Hmm, Simon Cowell involved with something including the word “dick.”

Sounds about right.

7:58- Dear Lord, forgive us for fashion in the 1980s. We knew not what we were doing.

8:03- Well, that answers the question I was about to ask, “Did Dick Clark die or something and I not hear about it?” Dear GOD, the man’s been aged since the stroke. I’ve never felt bad for that man until right now.

Seriously though, Barry Manilow? Was the guy who wrote the Tv’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes theme not available?

8:08- I get the feeling Friday Night Lights will be pretty good during the fall, but get REALLY boring the rest of the season.

8:11- Hmm, two different shows about an SNL-type tv show and the backstage stories, one written by the former writer of SNL. I wonder which show will have a spunky female lead who as head writer takes her show into the craphole after years of success?

And fuckin’ Manilow, on my TV AGAIN.

8:13. The Chicago Bulls intro for the Accounting Team? Priceless, especially when Kareem Abdul-Jabbar comes out. Is there anything that man can’t do?

8:15- Evangeline Lily. In Hi-Def. Hell. YEAH.

8:17- Jon Cassar wins Best Directing for 24. SWEET!!! That episode rocked.

And The Sopranos wins its first one too, for Best Writing. Aight.

8:23- I really, REALLY want to see Heroes. That show looks like it will absolutely rock.

8:25. Tom Selleck is about 60, if not older, and the man looks like he can still kick the ass of anyone around.

Never seen any of these movies. No idea if Jeremy Irons deserved to win for Best Supporting Actor in a Movie, so I’ll assume so.

8:26- Howie Mandel. Very successful hosting Deal or No Deal, but I still think of Walk Like A Man every time I see him.

And we have the Deal or No Deal Ladies out there. No complaints here.

Okay, the guy who DIRECTS the show gets run off by the music. NICE.

8:30- Conan O’Brian outsources his comedy writing? That explains SO much.

8:33- And Bill Maher’s still a prick. But I do like that The Daily Show wins again, even though I want The Colbert Report to win something tonight.

8:38- Okay, the TiVO thing was very funny.

8:40- People tend to forget that Hugh Laurie started out in comedy, having been in Black Adder back in the 1980s. Dude is very funny. And very British.

Andre Braugher wins an Emmy for Best Actor. I’ve always found him to be a good actor, and one of his best performances is in a movie from 1998 called “City of Angels.” The movie is a bit of a disappointment, but he’s great in it.

8:42- Seriously, does Bradley Whitford EVER not look uncomfortable? On the other hand, Matthew Perry proves once more why he makes the big money in tv comedy. Dude can deliver like few others.

8:43- Okay, as good as everyone in the Lead Comedic Actor role is? Tony Shalhoub OWNZORZ that category with the role of Adrian Monk.

8:46. Okay, I want to touch Stacy Keibler’s hiney. Not in any lascivious manner, but much in the way that someone wants to touch a fine scuptulre. I appreciate it, much like one would appreciate a fine wine.

Or a hot ass.

8:50- Candice Bergen looks like she’s an eyepatch and hat away from the Pirate’s Life. I’m just sayin’.

And she introduces a guy whose name sounds like Dick Asskiss.

8:51- Did anyone tell Joan Collins that the 80s ended 16 years ago?

8:53- Ahh, so Tori Spelling DID end up being invited to the Emmys. (As a side note, even though she recently lost her husband Aaron Spelling’s widow is a fricking bitch on wheels.)

8:56- Seriously, Aaron Spelling was brilliant. He catered to the lowest common denominator of tv fan expectations, and made a shitload of money doing it. Plus- HOLY CRAP! THE ORIGINAL ANGELS ONSTAGE TOGETHER!!! DAMN!

Funny though, that Kate Jackson still gets perceived as “The Smart Angel,” which is why I’m guessing she’s getting to speak the most. She did manage to say something very touching and poignant. So, props to her.

9:00- Jaclyn Smith, by the by, is still hot. Can’t say the same for Farrah anymore, sadly.

9:06- The Girl In the Cafe wins best movie. Nice. It was a great movie.

9:08- Stephen Colbert and John Stewart onstage together again. I haven’t felt this excited about a reunion onstage in about… oh, I’d say ten minutes.

They’re totally owning this entire thing, though. And Colbert is right- he got SCREWED by losing to Manilow.

9:11- The Amazing Race wins, AGAIN, for Best Reality show. And y’know, I can’t argue that. Look at its competitors.

Phil Keoghan is the MAN, also. Just putting that out there.

9:14- The Black Dahlia is based on a true story, and if you go out online you can find crime scene pistures of the actualy murder.

I cannot recommend against this enough. These pics are absolutely gruesome.

9:17- Oh, My. God. Katherine Heigl is absolute perfection onscreen. One of the most beautiful women out there, period.

They’re doing Best Direction of a movie, and it goes to Tom Hooper for Elizabeth I. Okay, I guess. Y’know, I’ve seen so few movies out there on tv that I can’t say much about them.

Seriously, though, I would so want to do fun things with Katherine Heigl.

…

I meant Ping Pong, you pervs! Jeez…

9:20- Richard Curtis wins for Best Writing for The Girl in the Cafe. Sweet.

And now Tony and Carme- I mean, James Gandolfini and Edie Falco are up there to present for Best Miniseries. Elizabeth I wins the award. Okay, I guess.

9:22- In Memoriam is up. No jokes here.

9:27- 33 minutes left, before Bob Newhart dies in a blaze of glory…

9:29- And this is more an Austin thing but I’m really debating a Taco Cabana run after this thing. I could use the adequate Mexican Food you can only find a Taco Cabana… or Taco Bell…

9:30- Remember folks, Keifer is German for “Odd first name.” Jack Bauer’s up there with Felicity Huffman (DAMN she’s hot) to give the award for Best Actress in a Dramatic Movie. Helen Mirren wins, which is okay I guess.

Here’s the thing about Helen Mirren. She has no problem whatsoever with whippin’ out the Puppies. Never has, and STILL doesn’t. Tremendous actress, but I seen her tits more than I’ve seen my own bare chest. And I’ve seen my chest a lot.

9:32- Craig Ferguson is very funny. He’s on The Late Late Show as well. And thanks to Helen Mirren, we now have women discussing whether or not they’re worried about going “ass over tit walking up to the stage.” Great ad-lib by Helen, funny callback by Calista Flockhart.

These two are doing Best Actress in Drama Series. The winner is, Mariska Hargitay, which is pretty damn cool. She’s been nominated thrice, and she won it for the first time tonight.

Oh, and she just had a baby two months ago.

Oh, and she’s DAMN HOT.

9:37- Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a first. McDonald’s has made a commercial for the first time in years that I didn’t absolutely HATE.

9:40- Tyra Banks is still hot, but SO DAMNED ANNOYING, She and Victor Garber are giving Best Comedic Actress, which goes to Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. Fun note- Julia’s show is the only one of the five nominated in this category that’s STILL ON THE AIR. Fun little speech, too. She knows she’s forgetting someone, and the camera- which is shown in the big-ass screen behind her, cuts to HER HUSBAND. She gets the hint and thanks him.

9:43- Virginia Madsen. MILF. ‘Nuff Said.

Best Dramatic Actor is up, and she’s giving it out with Ray Liotta. Dude costars with her in a new show coming out this fall. Lucky Bastard.

The award goes to… KEIFER SUTHERLAND. FUCK YES!!!!!

JACK BAUER IS THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MAN!!!!!!!

Whole night? TOTALLY WORTH IT!!!

Dude just gave a great speech, too. Sweet.

9:48- Peyton Manning’s very funny in commercials. He has a good post-football future ahead of him, I would say.

9:50- Two awards left. Conan’s giving out an award with Bob Newhart for Best Comedy. This should be good.

Dear GOD, Bob looks like a child compared to Conan towering over him. Don’t forget, 52% of callers wanted Bob Newhart to live.

Best Comedy Series goes to…The Office. Meh.

Scrubs didn’t quite get SCREWED, but it was just SO GOOD this year. Okay, I guess. The head guy for The Office, though, is very funny. Good speech, and he honored the original show as well.

Jenna Fischer is totally hot, too.

9:54- Annette Bening is giving out the final award, Best Drama. Hey, they might manage to end this thing on time tonight. Impressive.

The award goes to… 24!!!!! OH HELL YEAH!!!!!!!

TAKE THAT, WEST WING!!! AWESOME!

There is in fact a God, folks. And God is apparently a Jack Bauer fan, too.

I’m also loving the fact that this is the first year that David Fury has come on as a writer for 24. He was a longtime favorite of mine, having written many episodes for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel and Firefly

Alright, so all in all a pretty good year. I have no complaints, and they’re three minutes early in wrapping this up. Nifty.

Out.

Tags: Emmy_Awards
Posted in Uncategorized |

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