What? Holy crap monkey you guys are going to do a podcast? Yes we are, Fnliii, Beerslinger, and myself - across 800 miles of geographical distance, give or take a 100… we plan on lighting this up somewhere before the year is out. So keep your ears peeled…

Phone Swarm via Rocketboom

Sunday November 13th through Saturday November 19th.

This week’s payphone location: John “Chuck” Erreca Roadside Rest Area (formerly Panoche Roadside Rest Area), 0.7 miles North of Fresno County Line, I-5, California (-120.78334 36.86421). The phone number of the current phone is, as always, displayed via the logo to the left. Here’s a short list of all the ways you can work the payphone magic.

This is not a great location. It’s a goddamned rest area. But I am “okay” with that. I figured it was Phoneswarm material because I walked by and the center phone (of three) started ringing.

“Did you call me?”
“No, actually, this is a payphone. I suspect the party you are trying to reach was calling you awhile ago and has already continued north on I-5. Does this sound like anyone you know?”
“Wuh … ” [click]

You are probably wondering if this Roadside Rest Area offers restrooms, water, picnic tables, handicapped access, RV sanitation, and vending machines. The answer is a lustily-yelled “yes!”

The ringer on this phone is a little swamped by all the road noise. Good luck. The center photo is a decaying/inoperative push-button rest area/overnight accomodation indicator (”Tourest”).

http://weblogawards.org/ The site is up. Please go nominate wetwired for something..

Nominate us for best blog design
Nominate us for best group blog
Nominate us for best humor or comic blog.

You get the idea.. oh look, someone nominated us for best blog design already, gee how did that happen?

Zach Braff is back! and so is Scrubs! This time with a video blog post thats pretty imformative. He states that scrubs will come out around January (hopefully) and that he has 2 movies he acted in this past summer that are slated to be due out next year.

via Rocketboom Google is now paying $1 per person that switches to Firefox. They have a new campaign called Kill Bills Browser. If you draw your eyes to the bottom of the nav bar on the left hand side, you’ll see that I have added a button to it. Yes, wetwired is designed to work in Firefox.. and IE.. but really firefox. The boys over at blogebrity are even more adamant about it. Me I know everyone has a choice and I’d rather not alienate those unfortunate souls that haven’t switched to Firefox just yet.

Sony’s DRM software, spyware, malicious etc. Find out if a CD you’ve put in your computer has completely hosed it up. Go here for a list of cds that sony has DRM software on. Luckily there is hope, Symantec has posted a removal tool on their website here.

Beerslinger’s brought up some interesting (and certainly in the case of his grandmothers, valid) reasons for disliking the Christmas holiday. In the interest of keeping in the same spirits, I shall present my own issues with the holiday season.

1- IT STARTS TOO DAMN EARLY.

November 1st, 8:30 AM. I go into Wal-Mart to buy the Episode III DVD. My ears hear something that is familiar at first, then, fills me with a sense of dread. “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” is playing over the loudspeakers. Further, when I look up Wal-Mart already has their seasonal decorations up.

The day after Halloween, for Chrissakes.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for blatant capitalism. Capitalism, yay! But the DAY AFTER FRICKING HALLOWEEN?!?

Oh, and heaven forbid if you’re not in the Christmas Spirit the whole damn time- which leads to my second thing I dislike about the holidays…

2- IT MAKES FALSE FEELINGS OF COMFORT AND JOY.

People put on airs of this time of year being so much more special than any other time of the year. For a few, it really does brighten their outlook and it is a better time of year. For the rest of us, it’s not.

That’s right, I said it. The Christmas season is no more special than any other time of the year. In fact, I dare say it’s worse for many of us. Those of us who aren’t blitheringly stupid with happiness over the joy of the holiday season are called “Scrooge” and mocked, simply because we don’t get into that holiday frame of mind. You want to know why I’m not happy Christmas comes around? I’ll tell you why…

3- CHRISTMAS IS TOO DAMNED EXPENSIVE.

Okay, so I have to buy gifts for my mom, my dad, my neices and nephews, at least one of my siblings if not all of them, and a couple of friends. Oh, and then I have to drive 500 fricking miles to head back to the family for the holidays, gifts in tow. That’ll cost some money. Then of course, I’ll have to make sure I have enough money to cover the usual trip expenses- food, etc.

Oh, wait- what’s that? You mean, I still have to pay rent and my bills, too? But, it’s Christmas!

I guess those pesky companies aren’t having their spirits lifted by the next gripe…

5- CHRISTMAS MUSIC 24/7- ‘NUFF SAID.

It was subtle, at first. Christmas music all day on the day itself with some scattered throughout the days before the big day- understandable, sure. Then, it was the week before Christmas. Then, two weeks. Now, many places play Christmas music all day every day from Thanksgiving on. This was mostly limited to retail outlets but has since spread to radio stations as well.

Folks, when you start diggin into the well for Christmas music so that you don’t repeat the same ten songs over and over, it’s time to give it up. Not only that, but the Christmas music onslaught only serves to increase the final item on this list…

6- CHRISTMAS IS TOO DAMNED STRESSFUL.

Christmas was meant to celebrate one of the two holiest days on the Christian calendar. It should be a day of celebration. However, what we’ve seen rise instead is this false holday brought on by greed, disingenuousness and a desire to have something special for much longer than the shelf life on the holiday should last. It’s tough getting through the holidays for some of us, and this expansion of the “Holiday Season” does nothing to alleviate that stress. If you keep stretching the holiday out, it begins to lose some of that certain it factor that makes it special.

I’ve been accused of being a “Scrooge” in my time. I disagree. I’m more of a purist. I remember when the holidays began at Thanksgiving, had a brief rest and kicked into gear once December rolled around. I remember looking forward to Christmas with a sense of wonder and a real sense of joy. I remember when the holiday lost its luster for me, and nowadays I look upon the experience with a mixture of dread and anticipation. I will be happy to see my family and friends back home, but at the same time getting through the holidays wears me down, as it has for the last few years. I suppose that’s unfortunate, in a sense.

Out.

Ok, so I was having lunch with a friend the other day and the topic turned to the impending yearly masochistic crap fest that is Christmas. All this time I thought I was the only one that loathed this time of year, but as it turns out, there are others among us. So, I’m sending up a signal flare, a rallying sign to call the others out of the closet to speak with one voice and say: “We may not have a choice, but damn it, we drink this eggnog with ill-disguised quiet disdain.”

Don’t get me wrong, there are things that I like about Christmas: caroling, chocolates and turkey to name but a few, but there is evil in this seeming banality. So for your pleasure I submit my MASTER LIST of the top things I hate about Christmas.

1) Buying Presents. Let me be specific: it’s not that I dislike spending money on the people that I care about, but there is this second idea that the present you buy must embody everything you feel about that person and if that isn’t pressure I don’t know what is. I don’t have enough time, energy or brain power left in me to come up with THE ONE gift that defines my love for you, so I hope you like the toaster you’re getting.
2) Receiving Presents. On the flip side of this, I don’t want my friends to waste their time, and energy trying to find that perfect present for me. I tell them every year, if you really feel the need to get me something, get me a bottle of whisky or a good book. Invariably I get a toaster. And then, I have to look happy about it. “No, seriously, this is the EXACT model toaster I’ve always wanted. Or at least it was until you gave me one last year…”
3) Egg Nog. This should go without the need for discussion.
4) My Grandmothers. Yes, I’m probably going straight to hell for not liking my grandmothers, but never the less hate rears its wrinkly bald head. Never in my life have I met two women more bitter, punishing or judgmental than these two. No interface that they have ever had with me has ever shown any affection what so ever, and in the end I just stop feeling like a productive member of society. Honest to god, my brain doesn’t even process the words anymore, it just translates them as “blah blah blah, you’re not good enough, blah blah, you never will be”. And Christmas is the joyous time when I have no choice but to spend time with them to keep the family peace. Ba rump ba bum bum…
5) Egg Nog. Ok, maybe it does deserve an explanation, it’s 30 proof snot people! Stop drinking it!
6) Christmas trees. They are a bitch to set up, serve no real purpose and shed. It’s like a prickley haired pet sans the unconditional love. Here’s a hint, if you only decorate one side, it tips over, really. Break an ornament and pick red foil covered glass out of your foot for a year. That truly is the gift that keeps giving all year long.
7) Wrapping Presents. You wrap them then someone else unwraps them. Why? Just, why? So it’s a surprise? It’s a toaster, it’s ALWAYS a toaster. Christmas Day. Birthday of Christ, I think not. According to the bible, Christ was probably born in the second week of March. Why December 25th? It’s the day pagans traditionally celebrated the religion of Sol Invictus. It’s called religious transmogrification. It’s easier to convert people to your religion if you incorporate bits of their religion.

I don’t know, I guess it all seems like it combines to shroud our eyes from the true meaning of Christmas: yearly retail windfalls and personal financial chaos.

So, Merry Christmas, no one deserves it like you do.

Since the items I spoke of earlier is apparently up and down at any given time, I have decided to add it to the Wetwired archives. You’ll be able to find it by clicking on the post link for this post. Enjoy.

Out.

Read the rest of this entry »

Big Suprise here… a movie about gang violence….
50 Cent Movie Pulled After Pa. Shooting
AP (11-10) 18:18 PST Homestead, Pa. (AP) –

The new 50 Cent movie “Get Rich or Die Tryin’” has been pulled from a theater where a man was fatally shot even though officials said Thursday they do not know whether the film was a factor in the slaying.

Loews Corp. decided to stop showing the rapper’s bullet-ridden bio while the investigation is going on, said John McCauley, the company’s vice president of marketing.

“We’re unclear whether there is a direct connection,” McCauley said.

He said the company is doing all it can to make sure patrons are safe at the 22-screen multiplex in a popular entertainment-and-shopping complex just east of Pittsburgh.

Shelton Flowers, 30, had just watched the rapper’s movie Wednesday when he got into a confrontation with three men in the bathroom. A fight ensued and spilled out into the concessions area, where Flowers was shot, police said.

Authorities were looking for witnesses, and no suspects were immediately arrested.

Every so often, I come across something online that, once I read it, I have to bow to its superiority. This is one of those days.

Bear in mind, what you will read about here is, while technically safe for work I suppose as there are no images involved, is FAR from appropriate for all. It’s also necessary to read it in it’s entirety, from the beginning without skipping anything. You have been warned.

Out.

From Make Magazine, comes a link to these guys.

Yes thats right. The cheap solution is to put tape on your Nano. Because those bastards at Apple won’t admit that they screwed up.

Sunday, after the drunken debauchary that was the bachelor party and the following early morning wedding, I traveled back to the wonderful state of Texas and paused to meet up with Fnliii and Beerslinger at Ren Fest. And we stopped at the next best thing to Treasures… well as good as you can get a family event.

Lets take a closer look now shall we…

That’s what I’m talking about. Forget the dancers who have seen better days, show me women who have 6 pack abs and can play the fiddle. Devil went down to georgia anyone?

UPDATE: Our man Beerslinger has informed me that there may be a post with his thoughts on Renfest. Stay Tuned.

This weekend one of our wetwired crew, Cheesemoo, finnally tied the knot. Needless to say all of us met up and saw him off in traditional wetwired fasion. Alcohol, and lots of it. Anyway, I’ll write more about it later but on a serious note. CONGRATS CHEESE!

Nemmie’s theme for the month. Prose before Hos. She’s also sworn off dating. Ha!

NASA space station turns 5 (yesturday).

School Girl in Japan blogged about how she was poisoning her mother. (via blogebrity)

Via the Register Dell keeping job cuts hush hush…

Dell stays mum on job cuts
Speaks in smoky riddles
Dell is poised for its biggest job-slashing program for four years, according to reports.

A Register reader got in touch to tell us he had heard that 180 jobs will go in the UK and Ireland but staff were still in the dark.
Dell UK is unwilling to talk about job cuts blaming the “quiet period” before the desktop giant posts financial results. But company spokespeople in the US have confirmed that job cuts are likely to be the most significant since 2001 when Dell laid off 5,700 people.

A spokeswoman for Dell UK was only able to say: “It is true we are enhancing the structure and distribution of work.” Asked by a confused Register if this meant job cuts she confirmed that: “Adjustments to our business include job cuts.”

Texan paper the Austin American-Statesman said hundreds of Dell workers were laid off on Friday. A Dell spokesman would not give figures but told the paper the layoffs were the largest since 2001 when the firm got rid of almost one in four US workers. Dell employs some 18,000 people in Austin and Waco.

The paper said the cuts were due to a reorganisation of Dell’s consumer division. It reports that senior staff were among those clearing their desks.

The full story is here.

Speculation continues on employee forum ihatedell.net - have a look here.®

Here’s the Statesman article:

Hundreds of workers laid off

Unspecified number of job cuts are most in Central Texas since 2001 tech bust.

By Dan Zehr
AMERICAN-STATESMAN STAFF
Saturday, October 29, 2005

Dell Inc. laid off hundreds of employees Thursday and Friday, the company’s largest cuts in Austin since it downsized after the tech bust in 2001.

Dell spokesman Jess Blackburn declined to say how many jobs the company eliminated but said it’s “probably a fair characterization that it’s the most significant” since Dell laid off 5,700 workers in 2001.

Several laid-off employees, who declined to be named, said they heard from colleagues that the company had cut at least 300 jobs. Dell occasionally has laid off workers in the area but typically in smaller numbers than this week’s cuts.

The company eliminated 150 jobs when it downsized its local data centers in fall 2002 and cut another 141 employees from its product development group about five months later.

“We certainly understand it’s significant for them,” Blackburn said of employees affected in the latest round of cuts. “But in terms of characterizing the size of the job actions taken, it’s a small percentage of our overall work force” in Central Texas.

Dell employs roughly 18,000 people in Round Rock, Austin and near Waco. That’s up from a low of about 16,000 in 2001, when the company cut almost one-fourth of its Central Texas work force in response to a massive slowdown in high-tech spending.

Blackburn said the bulk of the recent layoffs stemmed from a major realignment of Dell’s consumer business.

The company is folding its consumer-focused operations back into the Americas group, he said, returning to a structure the company used in the past.

“As a result of that, unfortunately, there have been people whose jobs have been eliminated,” Blackburn said, adding that some of the job cuts extend beyond the consumer-division realignment.

Five laid-off employees, all of whom asked not to be identified, said Dell has been tightening its belt since the company missed its revenue forecast in the second quarter and cut its sales forecast for the third quarter, which ended Friday. Dell’s stock has hovered around $32 a share in recent weeks, roughly $10 less than it was trading before the earnings release Aug. 11.

One of the laid-off workers said, “I didn’t see it coming too long ago, but within the past couple days, things seemed odd. I couldn’t put my finger on it at the time, but now I can look back and say, ‘Ah, a couple of those things make sense now.’ ”

At least four current employees, who also declined to be named, have said in recent months that the company has postponed some job transfers and restricted travel and other nonessential expenses such as off-site meetings.

When asked about the tighter control of expenses in September, Chairman Michael Dell said, “There are always things we’re doing. We’re very focused on execution. . . . There’s no lack of attention there.”

This ones rich folks… Hire the PETA president for your personal assitant for the day.

Here’s a unique chance to hire hands-on corporate administrator and founder Ingrid Newkirk, president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), as your personal assistant for a day.

Use her experience in animal matters and corporate know-how to good advantage, perhaps by having her accompany you on your annual hunting expedition or to the rodeo or a bullfight.

What about having her redesign your animal testing lab or your bear bile farm, check your trapline, sharpen the lamb mulesing shears on your Outback farm or unload your poor old sheep from the docks in Dubai, build supports to stop your cattle from slipping off the truck ramps at the leather market, or count how many times the workers at your slaughterhouse miss with the captive-bolt gun?

My suggestion, forget animal testing, lets move on to people testing. See if the president of PETA will save the white mice for injections of an unkown substance and instead volunteer herself!

Flu Shots! No it won’t protect you against Asian Bird “Fru” but it will protect you from the usual flu season…

Tucker Max has launched a new site.. Coloring book land. I’ve wet my huggies from laughing so much.

And if you thought that was funny, check out Airtoons. I find this one particuarly funny.

Ok, so I have much more respect for him now. Course, he probably just wants white folks to see his movie and buy his albums, but still, I have a lot more respect of him than I did previously.

50 CENT SLAMS KANYE’S ‘BUSH IS RACIST’ COMMENT

Rapper 50 CENT has lashed out at fellow hip-hop star KANYE WEST for accusing US President GEORGE W BUSH of racism in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

The IN DA CLUB star believes human intervention could not have prevented the effects of the hurricane, which killed over a thousand people in the US gulf states in August (05), and sees no point in reprimanding the President for something which was beyond his control.

He says, “The New Orleans disaster was meant to happen. It was an act of God.

“I think people responded to it the best way they can.

“What KANYE WEST was saying, I don’t know where that came from.”

via fark (http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/news/5235856/detail.html)

Chaulk this one up in the Psycho Bitch category folks.

WESTMORELAND COUNTY, Pa. — Gail O’Toole was convicted of simple assault and sentenced to six months probation for acts she committed against her ex-lover.

On Wednesday, the civil suit went to court, where O’Toole’s ex-boyfriend claimed her “outrageous” and “inhumane” acts are worth thousands in damages.

Ken Slaby said he was in love with O’Toole five years ago.

He even admitted he was devastated when O’Toole broke it off.

So, when O’Toole invited him over to her Murrysville home to rekindle a friendship, he said he agreed.

Slaby said O’Toole even went to his house in Pittsburgh to pick him up.

But according to Slaby, the night took a turn when O’Toole got angry about Slaby’s new love.

Slaby said O’Toole waited until he fell asleep and glued his penis to his stomach, glued his testicle to his leg and glued the cheeks of his buttocks together.

Then came the nail polish.

Slaby claimed O’Toole dumped it all over his head.

When he woke up, Slaby said O’Toole threw him out.

He didn’t have a car, so he was forced to walk one mile down Route 22 to call 911 and Murrysville police, Slaby said.

When asked if in his 23 years as a police officer he had seen anything like this, Patrolman Joseph Malone of the Murrysville Police Department said, “No, I can’t say I have.”

At the hospital, oils did little to remove the glue. Nurses actually had to peel it off.

Slaby underwent treatment from a dermatologist several times afterward.

O’Toole’s attorney said this was part of routine sexual activity between the couple — acts that he agreed to — incidents that should have stayed in the bedroom.

But Slaby said O’Toole told him she planned the acts since the break up. According to Slaby, O’Toole came up with script and followed it to the letter because she was angry that he had moved on.

Slaby said his injuries included severe burning on parts of his body, impingement of normal bodily functions and discoloration of his hair.

The 10 men and two women on the jury can award Slaby $30,000 or more.

Their decision is expected late on Thursday.

So basically, O’Tool, messed with her boyfreinds tool.

Today starts the National Novel Writing Month. So if you’re participating in the contest to hit 50,000 words good luck. I keep looking at my schedule going, “How the hell could I do it”…

“ah what the hell.”