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Politically Correct
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” - She is a
“BREASTED AMERICAN.”
2. She is not a “SCREAMER” or a “MOANER” -
She is “VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.”
3. She is not “EASY” - She is “HORIZONTALLY
ACCESSIBLE.”
4. She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” - She is a
“LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”
5. She has not “BEEN AROUND” - She is a
“PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”
6. She is not an “AIRHEAD” - She is “REALITY
IMPAIRED.”
7. She does not get “DRUNK” or “TIPSY” - She
gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.”
8. She does not have “BREAST IMPLANTS” -
She is “MEDICALLY ENHANCED.”
9. She does not “NAG” you - She becomes
“VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”
10. She is not a “TRAMP” - She is “SEXUALLY
EXTROVERTED.”
11 She does not have “MAJOR LEAGUE
HOOTERS” - She is “PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.”
12. She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” - She is a
“LOW COST PROVIDER.”
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a “BEER GUT” - He has
developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”
2. He is not a “BAD DANCER” - He is “OVERLY
CAUCASIAN.”
3. He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” -
He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”
4. He is not “BALDING” - He is in “FOLLICLE
REGRESSION.”
5. He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” - He prefers
“GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”
6. He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” -
He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”
7. He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” - He develops a case of
“RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”
8. He is not a “MALE CHAUVINIST PIG” - He
has “SWINE EMPATHY.”
9. He is not afraid of “COMMITMENT” - He is
“RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.”
10. He is not “HORNY” - He is “SEXUALLY
FOCUSED.”
11. It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants-It’s
“REAR CLEAVAGE.”
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