Only gonna say this once, folks…

Many of you may not be familiar with the name Scott Kurtz. Those of you who are know what I’m gonna talk about here.

Scott is a cartoonist, who draws the very popular PVP online comic strip. The strip takes place in the fictional offices of PVP magazine, and revolves around the lives of 5 main characters. Cole, Brent, Francis, Jade and Skull are the staff at this magazine that focusses on gaming.

Take a gander at the strip, and you’ll find something to enjoy- be it the exasperated sensibilities of Cole, the cynical wit of Brent (and his girlfriend, co-staffer and fellow gamer Jade), the impetuous youth of Francis or the sweet innocence of Skull. Skull, by the by, is a 400 pound blue ogre that only those of pure heart can see and hear. He’s the heart of the strip, and also one of the funnier characters I’ve ever seen in a comic strip.

Bear in mind- if you do take a chance on this strip, it’s best to start from the beginning. Kurtz is something of a believer in continuity and canon (which I can appreciate, being the continuity sucker that I am) and events that happened a couple of years ago in the strip can have effects today.  Storypoints to look for include Skull’s uber-l33t gaming fez, Brent’s friendship with Cole, Francis’ teenage naivete in terms of life issues and any time the group get together for a gaming session.

Kurtz has taken the PVP universe outside the realm of online comics, having been published by Image Comics. PVP: The Dork Ages was released last year, collecting the first six comic books Kurtz wrote for PVP. You can probably find it at a local comic store, and it’s also available online at Amazon.

Take a look at it. It’s worth a read.

Out.

“That’s me grabbing the bull by the horns. It’s how I handle my business … It’s a metaphor…
But that actually happened though.”

-Dodgeball

Amazingly enough MJ has finally updated his webpage.  It took him flying out of state and being bored in airports to do it though. 

Emily is still dealing with the fact that her co-worker found her blog.  This is one of those things When blogs go bad… Kinda like when you’re cheating on your wife and you post all about every single episode, how good it was etc and then you come home and your wife has a print out of your page and a knife in her hand…

Next up, if you like midgets - and you know I do.  OMFG.  Check out the Armless midget. (hat tip to TuckerMax  - he’s new to the blogger world but it wont be long before he builds an empire…)

Blockbuster has released its new plan to combat sites like Netflix.

Get MoviesTo use your BLOCKBUSTER

I went home for lunch today and flipped on the television as I ate my quick lunch and came across a self-promoting ad about the Democratic National Convention. It said, and I quote”

Watch the Democratic National Convention Coverage on CNN for a new angle on an old tradition.

A new angle? I wasn’t aware that when you report the news you needed an angle or a spin? Reporting the news is supposed to be unbiased and factual. Since when did I want to have a new angle? I know that almost all major news outlets are notoriously uber-liberal. But for the love of god, do they have to continually shove it in my face.

Next up in examples of piss poor news reporting is pointed out by Wizbang.

WASHINGTON (AP) - President Clinton’s national security adviser, Sandy Berger, is the focus of a Justice Department investigation after removing highly classified terrorism documents and handwritten notes from a secure reading room during preparations for the Sept. 11 commission hearings, The Associated Press has learned.

Berger’s home and office were searched earlier this year by FBI agents armed with warrants after he voluntarily returned documents to the National Archives. However, still missing are some drafts of a sensitive after-action report on the Clinton administration’s handling of al-Qaida terror threats during the December 1999 millennium celebration.

Berger and his lawyer said Monday night he knowingly removed handwritten notes he had made while reading classified anti-terror documents at the archives by sticking them in his jacket and pants.

This was the AP release which was 28 paragraphs - the New York Times thought it’d be best to censor the story, in order to make it more suitable. They don’t think you need to know all the other information. The NYT only had 6 paragraphs. Can we say bias? Can we say Orwellian?

In rebellion against summer blockbuster season, I have decided to remind you of a few of the movies that you may have missed at the box office (if they even made it there) over the last few years, and a few classics that you may have forgotten about. If you haven

In following referals I came across this nugget of goodness. Ok not so good. It apears Harry Knowles of Ain’t it Cool News. Has a hateful fan base. Well after seeing him first hand, I can say he wasn’t the nicest at the event. But I invite him to comment on this site and apologise for being such a prick. I really didn’t know too much about him when I was at the event. At least the writers we’re cool about it.

This paints a pretty bad picture of her.  We do know for a fact that she is the heir to Heinz as far as she was married and got a huge fortune after her husband died.  But I dont know for certain if the rest is true.  If it is, it’s pretty sad. You’d think that Bush’s team would use this information against them. Aside from that, from all the reading she seems like shes a class-a bitch. So what rumors are true and which ones aren’t. I want to dispell the falicies and uncover the truths.

Following is a brief background on Mrs. John Kerry.  She hates beingcalled that, by the way:Maria Teresa Thiersten Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry.  Married Senator Kerryin 1995.  She only took his name eighteen months ago and she is an”interesting” paradox of conflicts.If you thought John Kerry was scary, he doesn’t hold a candle to his wife!Maria Teresa Thiersten Simoes-Ferreira Heinz Kerry was born in Mozambique,the daughter of a Portuguese physician, was educated in Switzerland andSouth Africa.  Fluent in five languages, she was working as a UnitedNations interpreter in Geneva in the mid-60’s when she met a “handsome”young American, H. John Heinz, III, who worked at a bank in Geneva.  Hetold her his family was “in the food business.”  They were married in 1966and returned to Pittsburgh where his family ran the giant H. J. Heinz foodcompany.  He was elected to the US House of Representatives in 1971, andin 1976 he was elected to the first of three terms in the United StatesSenate.  A Republican, he wrote a burning diatribe against some of thecauses backed by young House member John Kerry.Several years later, in 1991, he was killed when his plane collided with aSun Oil Company helicopter over a Philadelphia suburb.  The senator, hispilot and copilot, and both of Sun’s helicopter pilots were killed.  Hewas survived by his wife, Teresa, and their three young sons.Four years later, having inherited Heinz’s $500 million fortune, shemarried Senator John Forbes Kerry, the liberal then-junior senator fromMassachusetts.  She became a registered Democrat and the process of herradicalization was set in motion.Heinz Kerry is not shy about telling people that she required Kerry tosign a prenuptial agreement before they were married.  John Kerry may nothave check writing privileges on the Heinz catsup and pickle fortune, buthe is certainly a willing and uncomplaining beneficiary of it.A lot of hard-earned money, made through many years of hawking catsup,mustard, and pickles has fallen into the hands of two people who despisesuccessful entrepreneurship and who believe in the confiscatoryredistribution of wealth.So how does Mrs. Heinz Kerry spend John Heinz’s money?  Just one example:According to the G2 Bulletin, an online intelligence newsletter ofWorldNetDaily, in the years between 1995-2001 she gave more than $4million to an organization called the Tides Foundation.  And what does theTides Foundation do with John Heinz’s money?They support numerous antiwar groups, including Ramsey Clark’sInternational Action Center.  Clark has offered to defend Saddam Husseinwhen he’s tried.They support the Democratic Justice Fund, a joint venture of the TidesFoundation and billionaire hate-monger George Soros.  The DemocraticJustice Fund seeks to ease restrictions on Muslim immigration from”terrorist” states.  They support the Council for American-IslamicRelations, whose leaders are known to have close ties to the terroristgroup, Hamas.  They support the National Lawyers Guild, organized as acommunist front during the Cold War era.  One of their attorneys, LynneStewart, has been arrested for helping a client, Sheikh Omar Abdel Rahman,communicate with terror cells in Egypt.  He is the convicted mastermind ofthe 1993 World Trade Center bombing.  They support the “Barrio Warriors,”a radical Hispanic group whose primary goal is to return all of Arizona,California, New Mexico, and Texas to Mexico.These are but a few of the radical groups that benefit, through theanonymity provided by the Tides Foundation, from the generosity of ourwould-be first lady, the wealthy widow of Republican senator John Heinz,and now the wife of the Democratic senator who aspires to be the 44thPresident of the United States.Aiding and supporting our enemies is not good for America, regardless ofyour political views.  If voters will open their eyes, educate themselvesand see the real Teresa Heinz Kerry, they will not appreciate her positionas ultra rich fairy godmother of the radical left.  They will not want toimagine her laying her head on a pillow each night inches away from thePresident of the United States.Hopefully they love this country enough to decide that the only way thesetwo will ever be allowed into the White House is with an engravedinvitation in hand.

So your assignment is to find out how much else from this chain letter is true. As far as my research goes I came across this.

And I also found this:

Did everybody hear about the Teresa Heinz Kerry “African American” flap? Apparently she caught some heat back in the ’90s for calling herself African American, but then she tried to argue her way out of it by explaining that it was OK because she didn’t use any hyphen between African and American. Who does this bitch think she is, Bill Clinton?

But there’s more. For somebody who’s so proud to be an African, this old skank has donated a grand total of jack shit to her home country of Mozambique. Between her daddy and the two Skull & Bones members she fucked (actually, I guess there could be more), she’s worth an estimated $1 gozillion, which, according this one article I read, is about 1/4 of Mozambique’s gross domestic product. All that money and Africa can’t even get a free bottle of ketchup!

Is it illegal to threaten the life of a potential first lady? Because right now, technically, JFK is only the “presumptive” Democratic nominee. Somebody fucking end this lady, please.

In case you don’t follow Jim’s site, there is a heated debate about grilling and or bbqing. Grilling is actually included in the definition of bbqing. In reality it has more to do with regional language. But who doesn’t associate bbq with Texas? Jim also mentions that bbqing entails cooking for long periods of time. That’s smoking the meat. Here in Texas we have huge grills that have separate fire boxes where we put mesquite and hickory. Also, you don’t put sauce on the meat until afterwards. Sure you will marinade the meat ahead of time, but you don’t want to put a sugary bbq sacuce or at least large quantities on it while you’re cooking.

dictonary.com

bar

Meat hook dangling craze mystifies police

I had to read this twice just to figure out what the hell these people were thinking.

MIAMI, Florida (Reuters) — Law enforcement officials in the Florida Keys are mystified by a bizarre new pastime — young people dangling themselves from meat hooks on a popular sandbar.

A U.S. Coast Guard spokeswoman said on Sunday that the Monroe County sheriff’s office and Coast Guard were called on July 12 to the sandbar off Whale Harbor in Islamorada where locals say wild behavior is becoming a tradition.

They found that five young people had erected a bamboo tripod and hung meat hooks from it. A young woman, her feet brushing the surface of the shallow water, dangled from the frame, hooks embedded firmly in her shoulders.

According to a Coast Guard video, she did not seem to mind the hooks.

Lt. Tom Brazil of the Coast Guard told the Key West Citizen newspaper that a young man, who also had hooks embedded in his heavily pierced and tattooed skin, assured him the group was “just enjoying the afternoon.”

A Coast Guard spokeswoman in Miami said the group had clearly done this before and intended to post photos of themselves on a Web site dedicated to “body modification” — the ritualistic piercing of the body.

“It looked like a daily routine for them,” she said, adding that the hooks had been inserted in the skin in a professional manner and had drawn very little blood.”

“As long as they weren’t creating any kind of ruckus or riot within a crowd they really weren’t breaking any laws.”

The Coast Guard passed the video on to federal justice authorities but no further action will be taken.

Just when you thought they couldn’t get this many high payroll stars back into the same movie again. You were wrong. A sequal to a remake of a remake.

I

I just came across this new term courtesy of the Word Spy web site. All Hail Word Spy!
 
 
Bill Gates Tax
(bil GAYTS taks) n. The amount of money out of the price of a new personal computer that goes to Microsoft in the form of operating system licensing fees and other charges.
 
 
I took a few minutes to look this up, it is to be included in the next New American Standard dictionary.

Msn has a search preview where you can look at the webpages first before you go to them.. Someone came across wetwired by searching for austin texas and dodgeball.
 
 

Will Martha Stewart become someone’s bitch? Ok well we’re pretty sure she’ll serve time. The question is now, how much time and how much of a slap on the wrist is she going to get?

“I don’t think there’s any question that there will be a prison component,” said Jacob Frenkel, a former federal prosecutor and Securities and Exchange Commission lawyer now in private practice in Washington.
Some said the sentence could be as little as five months, but Frenkel thinks Cedarbaum will start with a minimum of a year.
“This is not somebody who made some inadvertent false statement,” said Frenkel. Noting Stewart’s high public profile, Frenkel added, “this is a case where a jury convicted a CEO for lying to two different government agencies. That’s a big deal.”
Whatever their sentences, neither Stewart nor Bacanovic will be immediately handcuffed and sent to prison.

In other strange news, a 11 yr old boy was killed by a mousetrap. Not just any mouse trap mind you. One that was plugged up with electricity. To go one step further, it appears that it was made illegal, apparently they like to fry all their mice…

Next up is a damn funny political cartoon showing Bush and Kerry both as morons. (hat tip to the monkey diaries)

Wetwired store is being worked on but in the meantime I have a bumper sticker you guys might like:

And here it is, your moment of Zen on Friday:

  
            Ok, so I know that all of you are like