Archive for June, 2004

Fluffers (revisited)

So I was browsing site meters information - it actually gives better information about search strings than my hosting program does. I came across this:

Domain Name our-town.com ? (Commercial)
IP Address 208.193.185.# (ARIN - North America)
Language Setting English
Operating System Microsoft Win2000
Browser Internet Explorer 6.0
Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.0)
Time of Visit Jun 30 2004 10:53:16 am
Last Page View Jun 30 2004 10:53:16 am
Visit Length 0 seconds
Page Views 1
Referring URL http://www.google.co…nal+fluffers&spell=1
Search Engine: google.com
Search Words: professional fluffers

Visit Entry Page http://www.wetwired….-know-yesterday.html
Visit Exit Page http://www.wetwired….-know-yesterday.html
Time Zone UTC-6:00
CST - Central Standard Time
CDT - Central Daylight Saving Time
Visitor’s Time Jun 30 2004 10:53:16 am

We are #24 when you search for fluffers on yahoo
We are on page #7 now when you search on google

Think you don’t like Michael Moore?

Frank gives us true reason to dislike him.

Know Thy Enemy: Michael Moore
Michael Moore is fat. Oh, and he also had the number one movie over the weekend with his new propaganda piece, Fahrenheit 9/11, about how Bush is not a good president or something or other. I hope he really gets Bush on not controlling spending at home. Anyway, I had my crack research staff work overtime finding out all the facts about the fascinating piece of work known as Michael Moore.

FUN FACTS ABOUT MICHAEL MOORE

* He’s fat.

* He’s ugly.

* He’s fat and ugly.

* He corpulent… which means fat.

* He compares unfavorably to a baboon

Last of the Neo-Ludites

As the time for me to purchase a new computer comes closer and closer, I am reminded of how much I have grown to dislike technology. The application of science, whose sole purpose is to make life easier, seems to have a profound ability to make our lives more complicated. But the truth is I know it

NetFlix..

I wish these wankers would have an exportable list of the movies in “your queue”. Netflix has the ability to have 500 movies listed in the queue for your renting history. I decided to write a letter to them hoping it won’t fall on deaf ears.

I know you should be well aware of the online craze that has become Blogger (http://www.blogger.com) that is now owned by Google.

I would like to make a request to have an exportable version of the movie “queue” in XML or php that can be tied in with say a side bar for many of the online weblogs.

Many companies underestimate the ability of these personal weblogs to have an impact on sales or advertising and promotions. But time and time again, major news companies like CNN /FOX/CBS have pointed out that this new craze is holding steady and has the ability to sway large numbers of visitors. For Netflix to not take advantage of it, would be a mistake.
signed: pylorns

I have been using NetFlix since February and for the money, I can honestly say its worth it. If you rent a lot of movies - You’ll save money. Even at the slowest point you can still get 3 DVD’s a week at $21.95/month. If you were to rent 3 DVD’s a week from blockbuster and return them on time - that’s $47.88/month. Now if you are like me and freaking turn almost every movie in late it averages out to $100/month bucks with late fees. Now, when it comes to Netflix, generally I can squeeze SIX DVD’s a week out of them because Austin happens to have a distribution hub and I really do get next day delivery of almost all their DVD’s. If I was to rent from Blockbuster without paying late fees - $95.76.

How the hell do I watch 6 movies a week? The answer is, I don’t. Half the time I am only able to “archive them” and watch them at a later time.

White Castle Road Rally

MJ and I are off on another adventure. This time we’re going on a road rally. At the end of the rally we’ll get white castle burgers and get to meet the cast and crew of the movie and watch a special screening of the event. There should be prizes along the way as well. We intend to win the rally. If you follow wetwired, you’ll note I won the last road rally that happened last october at the Subaru State meet. So, we have our team, we have our car. We have our camera’s. July 10th is surely to be an interesting day.

From Alamo Draft House’s Page:

HAROLD AND KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE
D. Danny Leiner 2004 Rated R

DIRECTOR, SCREENWRITERS AND STARS IN ATTENDANCE!

INCLUDED WITH YOUR TICKET IS ALL YOU CAN EAT WHITE CASTLE BURGERS!
White Castle is shipping in 3 patented White Castle grills and 4000 burgers, which are included in the price of your ticket! Bring an appetite, because we will be eating LOTS of meat.

Two twenty-something stoner roommates — one a Korean American investment banker; the other an Indian American medical school candidate — go through a life changing journey, as they spend a night roaming the state of New Jersey in search of White Castle hamburgers. A ripe existentialist parable.

This movie is a road rally unto itself. So we’re teaming up with New Line Cinema and Ain’t It Cool News to create the mother of all road rallies, all based around Harold and Kumar’s focused quest. Teams will meet at the Alamo, and after a Le mans-style sprint to their cars, will embark upon a Harold and Kumar-themed Road Rally, flled with scavenger hunt items and driving challenges, which will eventually lead to a secret screening location where you will watch the Premiere of the movie and meet the cast and director. All teams arriving at the screening will also recieve all-you-can-eat White castle-style mini-burgers.

If you can’t make the rally, be sure to check the film out at the Alamo Drafthouse starting July 30, where dozens of those tiny, fresh hot and savory burgers can be ordered right to your seat. After you watch this film, I guarantee you, nothing else will satisfy!

Please note: the Harold and Kumar premiere road rally is 18 and up.

And now, the Solitary Pronouncement of the Week…

Only gonna say this once, folks.

Watch the Joe Schmo Show on Spike TV.

Joe Schmo 2.

Mondays at 10:05 PM CST.

Two schmos- one not as schmo-ey as they’d hoped.

DAMN, it’s funny.

Out.

Survivor Update

Immunity Challenge 4 is up. Go out and check it out and vote for the best one over at the Survivor site.

That Certain Something

This was originally posted by EastMarch back on the dateproject site that is now down. I revive old articles from it from time to time.

That Certain Something

In my admittedly limited experience with domestic bliss and relationship harmony, I have found that there are certain things the other person does that may not be specifically designed to please you but are just those little things that make being with them a true pleasure. While certainly people can and will go to extraordinary lengths to please their partner, these are really not what I am referring to. I’m referring to the small habits, mannerisms, caring actions, etc that are what I consider the cement of any good relationship. The most famous of these is the ’secret smile’, the smile that nobody gets but you. My last girlfriend had that smile, and I can still picture it like it was yesterday. (and I assure you it was considerably longer a time ago) I don’t really want to turn this into a depressing remembrance of love lost, yet I am quite curious to know what the experiences of everyone else has been, a sort of closer look at relationships at their most basic level.

So I will start this forum, by recounting two things that stand out in my memory most, some 4 years later. One of the most simple things that always made me feel very cared for was whenever we had friends over at the house to play cards and drink beer, she would always watch me, and when my beer was on its last swallow, she would go open another, bring it to me, and take the old one away. Not something I ever asked her to do, not something anyone had ever done for me before, but something that made me feel, well, special. The other thing was how she used to take these long long baths and used all of these beauty products that moisturized, softened, and whatnot that had her coming out of the bath smelling lovely with the softest skin…

Ok, now that I feel foolish for posting this, perhaps everyone else can join me and share some of the little things that made their previous relationships memorable on a day-to-day level.

by:EastMarch

Pepsi Edge

Ok, so I’ve tried Coke c2 and Pepsi Edge. Both 1/2 the sugar replaced by aspertame or sucralose. I like the Pepsi edge better, but if I had my choices I’d stick to regular Pepsi and or Diet Pepsi. Although, niether are as bad as say the New Coke outrage, they just aren’t that great. It reminds me of when Pepsi came out with Pepsi Clear. I don’t think either Coke C2 or Pepsi Edge will last very long.

Full Flavor? Try flat flavor. In their attempts to take out the sugar, they’ve made a product that just tastes flat.

Fluffers and Google

A quick search on the word fluffers now has wetwired on the 8th page. What a daunting task we have ahead of us to make wetwired the fluffer capitol of google.

What I Want in a Woman

Lately it has occurred to me that women are becoming more and more blended together in a generic miasma of celebrity mimicry and bony hips. I have become so tired of going out with women that don

CrankitUp.

this is an audio post - click to play

Whoa, they’ve made audioblogger free again! I’ve decided to post about CrankitUP.

The Adult Happy Meal

Have you guys heard anything about it? Well the fella’s over at Zug.com have. They made a point to call about the toy that comes in the adult happy meal. Why didn’t I think of this..

I was so confused by this whole experience that I made the following prank call to McDonald’s.

McDONALD’S: Thank you for calling McDonald’s, this is Alberto.

JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi Alberto. My two-year-old got a Happy Meal recently, and for his toy he got this little Stepometer designed by Oprah’s personal trainer.

McD: Okay … right.

JH: This has got to be the worst toy ever. It’s just no fun at all.

McD: Right, and I do apologize for that experience, sir.

JH: It’s, like, the anti-fun. It’s like a Nazi toy.

McD: That’s not the correct item that you received. That toy is designed for the Adult Happy Meal.

JH: [Lasciviously] So it’s an adult toy? Well, why didn’t you say so!

McD: [Laughs nervously] It’s … ah, it’s meant to go into the Adult Happy Meal.

JH: I’m sorry, my cellphone connection is breaking up, Alberto. I thought you just said “Adult Happy Meal.”

McD: That, ah, that is correct, sir. This is a new promotion that we just started, that will be running through the next month or so.

JH: I don’t understand. You’re putting an exercise toy in a box full of fried food?

McD: As I said, sir, this was a mistake, and I do apologize for that.

JH: Are you guys saying my kid is fat?

McD: Sir…

JH: Because he is actually quite skinny for his age. That’s why he’s eating at McDonald’s, to bulk him up.

McD: [Firmly] Sir. That was an error on the part of the employee, as I said. Now, if you’ll give me your address, I’ll be happy to send you out another toy.

JH: Well, here’s the thing. Somehow my kid thinks this is a toy, so I’ve been encouraging him to follow the program. Now, Oprah’s trainer says to increase his average steps by 500 steps a week, but I think he’s walking too much. He’s up to about 9,500 steps per week now.

McD: Your two-year-old?

JH: Right.

McD: Up to 9,500 steps a week?

JH: Yeah. And his feet are starting to bleed.

McD: [Long pause] His feet are starting to bleed?

JH: Well, you know, he’s got blisters, and they’re starting to ooze a clear fluid. It’s not really blood, but it’s tinged with blood, which is why I’m getting concerned. I don’t think toddlers are meant to walk so much.

McD: Sir, that’s probably something you’re going to have to ask your doctor, as far as any growth or medical issues are concerned.

JH: But I’m following your exercise program.

McD: Right, but we’re not in a position of giving out medical advice.

JH: Wait a minute … [leafing through booklet] … there’s a note that says this was “proudly developed in cooperation with the American College of Sports Medicine.”

McD: …

JH: That’s medical advice, right?

McD: Ah, what I can assist you with is getting out a new toy to your address. Now, can I have your address so we can…

JH: Also, he’s vomiting.

McD: [Extremely long pause] Again, sir, I cannot give you any advice on that. What I can do is send you out a replacement toy, if you’d like, but you’ll have to consult a doctor for those issues.

JH: [Long sigh] Could I have the number for Oprah’s personal trainer? Do you think he could help?

McD: Have you been to the Web site www.goactive.com, sir?

JH: No, I don’t have a computer. I lost it.

McD: You lost it?

JH: In the divorce.

McD: Oh.

JH: Got the kid, lost the computer.

McD: Well, if you can get access to a computer, you can log on to the Web site and send e-mail to Bob Greene.

JH: Do you think he’ll respond by the weekend? Because we have a wedding to go to.

McD: You can send him e-mail, and what I can do is send you out the toy.

JH: Again with the toy. I appreciate the offer, but I’d really like an entire Happy Meal.

McD: Well, we can…

JH: I like the Chicken McNuggets with scrotum sauce.

McD: [Another long pause] Sir, I’m going to have to end this conversation now. I have many other calls coming in, and I am going to have to terminate this call.

JH: All right, I’ll take the toy.

McD: Could I have your address?

[I give him my address.]

McD: All right. Thank you for calling McDonald’s, Mr. Hargrave.

JH: Hey, Alberto?

McD: Yes, sir.

JH: Don’t forget the scrotum sauce.

Friday Update

I first saw this at Wizbangs - Mary Kate and Ashley’s letters too each other can be found here. Damn thats funny.

I saw the E! special about us last night. Hey, isn’t it weird that we’re all rich and famous and beautiful, but our mom looks like complete white trash in the photos they show? I mean, she totally looks like she’s sold it for crank before.

They have released the South Korea Beheading video. But the place is not work safe - at least this one isnt.

Ah.. another Vietnam.

BAGHDAD, Iraq (CNN) — U.S. military planners are preparing to send possibly as many as 15,000 additional ground troops to Iraq if the level of violence increases, CNN has learned.

So basically we go this little police action going on… the country is kinda split between peace loving Iraqi’s and crazed militants. Sounds a little familiar. I remeber us pulling out of that war cause we finnally realized you can’t police nut cases.

Today on Survivor a person will be voted off a bit later. Check it out. Shhh.. I know who it is.

Magic, this one’s for you… (UPDATED!)

I can only assume that THIS is the origin of what has become an infamous saying by our own Magic. Watch in all its glory.

Out.

(UPDATE!!!) We have corrected the name of the man who is referred to in this post. Sorry for the mix-up.

Out, again.