Pylorns posted his top 5 movies (presumably after watching High Fidelity recently, I’d wager), and knowing the movie geek that I am he had to know I’d throw in my two cents on the issue. I’m not saying these are the best movies of all time, but if these movies are on the tube I’m going to watch them- no question. So, here we go…

1) Star Trek II- The Wrath of Khan (1982)- The grandaddy of them all. The only one of the series that can be considered a FILM instead of a movie. Classic themes such as sacrifice, death, revenge and hope- with a plot that would make Bill Shakespeare proud, a villian that never, EVER compromised (his last words were a curse from Moby Dick, for Chrissakes) and a sacrifice that would make any cold-hearted geek warm up just a little. When people ask why I’m a Trek fan, this is the movie I point them to as an answer.

2) Ghostbusters (1984)- Easily the best comedy to come out of the 1980s, and one of the best comedies of all time. Bill Murray is at his comedic best here, and the script by Ramis and Ackroyd is outstanding. So prolific in its influence that Dan Ackroyd was able to coast for YEARS on its reputation alone. Only within the last couple years did the talk of a second sequel finally end, so beloved is this movie.

3) The Godfather, Part II (1974)- The first movie might be more quotable, but this one is the superior product. The fall of Michael Corleone is captured beautifully here, and Pacino is at his best. Plus, few things are as chilling as the sound of the gunshot as Michael looks out upon the lake. The first sequel ever to win the OSCAR for Best Picture, a distinction only recently matched by The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King.

4) Good Will Hunting (1997)- Say what you want about Robin Williams, the comedian. But he was spot-on in this movie. Watch the scene again of him talking about meeting his wife. The lake scene gets more attention, but this scene makes you believe he would pass up the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go talk to a girl in a bar. Enough has been said about the script by Affleck and Damon (leading to one of the funniest lines in the An Evening With Kevin Smith DVD) but it’s earned. To this day, I still say it got screwed over by Titanic for Best Picture. Any other year, it would have won- no question.

5) Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)- The only animated movie on my list, but it’s that good. I consider Kevin Conroy’s voiceover work as Bruce Wayne/Batman to be the defining performance as the Caped Crusader, better than even Michael Keaton’s work in the role in Batman and Batman Returns. This is perhaps the best presentation of Batman that has been put to film, with the added bonus of Mark Hamill’s unequaled performance as the Joker and Dana Delany as Andrea Beaumont. I’d give anything to see the same movie performed as well in live-action, but it’d probably lose some of the luster that way. It’s not the best animated movie ever, but it’s the best adaptation of the source material I’ve seen.

Honorable Mentions:

Kevin Smith’s Jersey series (1994-2001)- The Original Jersey Trilogy, plus Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Too many pop culture references have been spawned by these celebrations of pop culture for the movies to be ignored.

Office Space (1999)- If you don’t know why, don’t ask.

The Empire Strikes Back (1981)- showing once more why Darth Vader IS the baddest mutha in the galaxy. Best of the Holy Trilogy.

Steven Speilberg’s World War II movies- Schindler’s List (1993) and Saving Private Ryan (1998)- Two movies that don’t make the list because so powerful were they upon first viewing, I can’t really watch them more than once every few years.

The Matrix (1999)- a really good movie brought down by inferior sequals- and this is coming from a guy that didn’t hate the follow-ups. When Neo flies off at the end, geeks flipped out and couldn’t wait for sequals. Maybe we should have kept it that way…

Highlander (1985)- Well-made and perhaps a bit too ambitious for its own good. A movie brought down by its sequals. It doesn’t make the top five because it spawned a tv series that was better than the source material.

There you go- my list. Peruse and discuss at your leisure

Out.

1. The holy trilogy. Yes all 3 of the first star wars flics. Why do I throw them all in one category, because they have to be grouped together so as not to bump the next flics from their spots.

2. Indiana Jones Trilogy. Harrison Ford and Germans, and short round.

3. The Jersey Trilogy. Kevin Smith - who refers to both above trilogies extensively. Kevin smith, hands down, is one of the best dialogue writers out there.

4. The Goonies. You can’t deny it.

5. The Godfather. I mean, how many movie references can come out of this?

For an old list of the wetwired list of movies that men should watch, click here.

Click Here for one of the simpler pleasures of the Internet. It’s old, I know. But it’s funny or a few seconds.

Not like this one, which is just cool for at least a few minutes. What’s the difference you might ask?

See, both are inheritently stupid.

Both are obscenely repetitive.

Both can get old, quick.

Both are about as useful as tabloid reports of some overexposed soccer player cheating on his wife.

But you see- only one has the MAN. THAT’s why the second one is better.

Oh, and in other news there’s a war or something going on and an election coming up, I think. Oh, and some guy named Bin something is out there planning to destroy us- maybe. But they’re nothing compared to THIS!

(Note: So I’m a bit snarky and sarcastic tonight. Screw it.)

Out.

Many will mark this day as the day another Easter miracle occured. That’s right- Phil Mickleson has won himself a major tournament.

It was the Masters.

He won on a Birdie.

He was tied with the leader for two holes at the end- after birdieing to get said tie.

After going winless in forty-two previous major PGA tournament attempts in a row, ever since going pro.

And he didn’t choke.

Maybe- just maybe, there is a higher power after all…

Out.

Nick and Jessica Variety Special

I can’t belive they are going to try this crap? Sonny and Cher wanna bes or what?

Nick & Jessica: Variety Is the Spice!

April 6, 2004
Handsome NICK LACHEY and darling JESSICA SIMPSON have captured America with MTV’s “Newlyweds,” and now? It’s all about an ode to “Sonny and Cher”!

Tonight on ET, we take you into their photo shoot for the new issue of TV Guide, on stands Thursday, April 8th!

Nick and Jessica posed for the pics while taping a segment for their all-new ABC special, the “Nick & Jessica Variety Hour,” which will feature (much like SONNY & CHER) skits, songs, and special guests.

“‘I Got You Babe’ isn’t our favorite song in the world,” Simpson revealed to TV Guide, “but we’ve gotten so many comparisons to Sonny and Cher, we decided it could be cool.”

What’s also very cool is the success the pair has had since their foray into MTV. “I always feel like I deserved more respect than I was getting,” Jessica says. “It’s stuff I’ve been praying for for years.”

Jessica re-released her album In This Skin in March, and it has since gone on to steal the No. 2 spot on the Billboard albums charts. The single “With You” has also topped Billboard at No. 1. She says despite the rollercoaster year, their relationship is stronger than ever: “Nick and I will love each other forever … If you can weather all the storms, it just makes you that much of a better couple.”

As for the show that truly put them on the mega-star map, “Newlyweds” returns for a 10-episode run this June, with an option for 10 more shows and then “that’s it.” Despite the rewards they’ve reaped, Nick does want to get back to real life: “Being filmed all the time definitely wears on you … The house started to feel like a set as opposed to our home.”

But don’t feel too bad for the duo, they recently spent six days together in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, without any sort of baggage — except for Jessica’s indispensable LOUIS VUITTON, of course!

Well I would like to tell everyone hello from , Pleasanton, TX. I swear we sell SW to only the smallest towns in the world, there isn’t a walmart here either. WTF???

Hobbs is a town of about 50k people give or take a couple thousand. It is the only large city near where we are working this week, Denver City. Which is a town of about 2k people. The difference between the two: Walmart. Hobbs is bigger only cause it has a Walmart. Yep thats it. Evil Dave and I managed to find 2 hotels that had highspeed internet in the rooms, and luckily were able to procure one of them. Technology is grand.

Here you go, me in all my glory.

Well, to an extent. See, I found a nifty little character generator at the official South Park site. I figure this is the closest to me I could come up with using what they had. I especially like the look of loathing the character gives. Suits me perfectly, I think.

And before you say it, Beerslinger- yes, the head is to scale.

Out.

Okay, I should explain.

See, Beerslinger decided in his infinite wisdom to comment upon my previous post. His second comment was that he liked the post, to which I say thank you. However, it’s his first one that I’d like to address.

This is what he posted to the comments section:

F, I bet you would like ishtar if they released it in a special, limited edition, ultimate DVD.

…

…

(Tryin to stay calm… fight the rage… he wouldn’t like me when… I’m… aww, screw it)

Okay, assume for the moment that Beerslinger knows me well enough. We’ve only known each other for a little over a fricking decade, so take it as writ. That being said… ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?

I mean, Ishtar? Fucking ISHTAR?!?

This from the man who for many years considered Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man one of the highlights of American cinema? Who practically drooled with glee the first time we watched True Lies?

I admit, I like the lighter comedies more than others. I find lots of amusement in stupid comedy, to be honest. But I would never, EVER buy a copy of Ishtar. For God’s sake man, I do have some standards.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have my copy of Animal House that needs some attention.

Out.

Just finished watching National Lampoon’s Vacation 20th Anniversary DVD, and I noticed a few things about the flick I hadn’t realized before. First of all, Chevy Chase was perfect for that role. Now, please understand- I’m not a big Chevy Chase fan. He’s made enough crappy flicks that I can do without him, most of the time. But he IS Clark W. Frickin’ Griswold. Second, Beverly D’Angelo is a pretty good straight role to the slapstick of Chase. Didn’t hurt that she was hot back then too, but she shines as the calm center of the family.

The third thing I noticed is how, well… reality-based the movie is. Now, I don’t mean that the events are based on anything resembling real life. But a lot of the humor in the movie comes from truth (albeit in a smaller sense). Clark is the overworked, underappreciated father figure who overcompensates for the time he spends away from his family by overdoing everything he does with them. While it’s played for comedic effect here, think about it- if you’re a working parent and you get to spend time with your family in limited periods, don’t you try to make the most of it? Also, when you were a kid and you saw your father or mother only a few minutes or so in the evening or in the morning, at least one of if not both sides of the equation were making the most of the time there.

It’s kinda funny- I used to see my father as a version of Clark Griswold, and I figured out why a few years back. My father works swing shifts at a chemical plant in Louisiana, and he wasn’t always around when we were growing up. When he was able to enjoy time with his family, we spent the time together and did family things. At times, it would seem like both he and my mother were trying their hardest to enjoy the time they spent with us. Our vacations would be grand affairs lasting more than a week and taking us to some scenic location with the other familes we were close with. Often my father would try to get us boys in the family together to try things he enjoyed- hunting, fishing, sports, etc. It was unfortunate for me, in that I wasn’t into the same things he was into. I tried hard when I was younger, but eventually we both kinda gave up and drifted apart. In a sense, it made hating him easy I suppose.

It’s only been in the last few years that my father and I have reconnected. Now, we’re closer than we were in my youth- by a pretty sizeable ways, too. We don’t have to try as hard as we used to, because with maturity came understanding and with understanding came recognition of how much he really did for me and my siblings in our youths.

Tel you what- think back to the times you had with your parents. If you’re lucky, they were good times. If they were, thank them. They were doing their best, after all- even if the park was closed for maintenance for two weeks.

Out.