Wetwired an Austin Texas Blog

Tonight, I crossed a line I never thought I’d cross. I became a yuppie. Now, I don’t mean this in the strict classical definition of Young Urban Professional. I mean the mindset in this case. That state of mind that tells yourself- wait for it…

“Hmm, maybe that John Mayer CD isn’t as annoying as I’d thought. I’ll buy it!”

Now, understand- I pride myself on not really buying into the popular music genre. I haven’t bought a new artist CD in about a year, and that was the Evanescence Fallen CD. In my defense, that CD has about 7 or 8 really, really good songs as opposed to the usual 1 or 2 on a record nowadays. Plus, Amy Lee could become an excellent singer if she develops some vocal discipline and doesn’t overdo it with every fricking note. (Another note- yes, I know it’s easier to just say CD instead of Record. I’m a retro kinda guy on this one, so sue me.) To meander back to the point, the last new CD I bought was a year ago. The last three CDs I’ve bought were classic rock and 90s rock compilations. Hardly new trendsetters, the lot of them. Hell, for most of my musical purchasing experience I’ve gone with compilations and/or classic albums. So, to say I’m not into that crazy hipster music these blasted kids are digging nowadays would be a hell of an understatement.

So, with that being said let me explain. I’m in Wallyworld tonight, looking through the new DVDs. Suddenly, “No Such Thing” comes on the radio above.

…

In High Fidelity, John Cusack’s character mentions to another that he will sell 5 copies of a band’s cd in the next five minutes and does so by playing the album. Sure enough, multiple people begin to look for that album and band. It’s a goofy little theory, but it works.

It worked tonight, for certain. First I hear the song, realize who it is, start humming along in my head (which doesn’t consist of any actual sound coming out of me and is more like me THINKING about humming the song, but does put a little more insight into the freakland that is my mind), and remember that the song “Your Body Is a Wonderland” was spoofed slightly by a guest musical group on the Bob and Tom Show about 6 months ago, and damn they were funny, and I oughta look into them more later on tonight when I get home. (Never ask how my ADHD-riddled thought process works. Trying to figure out how my brain processes information is like trying to process the statement “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.” No good can come from this.) After about a minute, I decide to look for the album that the songs are on. Sure enough, I find them on an album that Mayer put out in 2001 called Room For Squares.

The end result of all this? Ten bucks later, I’m sitting here at 2:15 in the morning listening to the album while I type this, longing for the sleep that I know isn’t going to come any time soon. Meanwhile, I’m just hoping that I didn’t waste ten bucks on an album that had 3 well-known songs on it and didn’t have anything else.

Out.

Imagine the following scenario, if you will:

You’re the mother of a 19 year old man, who is going out to a party with his girlfriend. The girlfriend of your son just got a car from her own mother, which works out great since your son’s driver’s license is no longer valid. That night, your son gets drunk on Coors beer and decides to drive off in the girlfriend’s car, leaving her behind. He’s up to 90 miles an hour when he slams into a light pole, killing himself in the process.

Shock and grief are natural reactions to such a loss, as well as the anger that would be derived from the manner in which your son died. Your loss has affected you in a serious, serious way. So, what do you do?

Well, if you’re Jodie Pisco you sue the beer company, the girlfriend and her mother. Because that’s exactly what she did after her son Ryan was killed in 2002 in the exact scenario I outlined above. Her lawsuit claims that Coors Brewing Co. is “glorifying a culture of youth, sex and glamour while hiding the dangers of alcohol abuse and addiction.” She also says that the girlfriend allowed Ryan to drive off in the car that night, and the mother is being sued for giving her daughter the car.

Look, I understand pain. I get that she’s suffered a loss that I cannot understand. Outliving your own child is a personal hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, especially when their death is as violent and as avoidable as Ryan Pisco’s death was. I would even go so far as to say that the major brewing companies DO in fact glorify use of their product- to a degree.

But they didn’t buy Ryan’s beer that night. Ryan did.

They didn’t open Ryan’s mouth and pour the beer down his throat. Ryan did.

They didn’t get Ryan drunk that night. Ryan did.

And they didn’t drive off in the car, slamming it into a pole. Ryan did.

By the way, very, VERY classy to include the girlfriend and the mother of the girlfriend in the lawsuit. The girl suffered her own loss here too, plus her car was destroyed. She’ll also have to spend the rest of her life wondering if there may have been something she could have done differently that night. Instead of any kind of bonding in times of loss though, let’s instead take the little girl to court- right? Because after all, it was her car! Not like Ryan might have taken the keys from her, in a drunken bout of anger. No, not your little Ryan! He was such a good boy- who would never drink on his own. You know what? I bet the girlfriend even had someone open Ryan’s mouth while she poured the vile alcohol down his gullet. And her mother was there too! Yeah, that’s it. She was waving the keys in front of Ryan, saying “You know you want to drive…”

This one needs to go to trial, folks. It needs to because the only way that Jodie Pisco is going to understand that the only person to blame for Ryan’s death is (in fact) Ryan himself is by a judge and jury telling her so. After that, she should take her anger and loss and put it to good use. MADD never wants a new spokesperson, but they would have one in her.

Out.