Monkey smoking crack.
One puff, two puffs, three puffs, four.
Monkey on the floor.

Children at the zoo…
Monkeys escape their cages…
Kids flee in terror…

Look out, Superman!
Screeching Bubonic Monkey
leaping from that tree!

Lurking in darkness,
Ebola Death Monkey waits,
sharpening his fangs.

There you have four of my favorite monkey haikus written during my CrackMonkey days.

Love,
Self-Inflicted Wound

Lately when you go to the grocery stores, especially HEB here in Austin, they don’t staff enough people to do bags. So I stand in line behind soccer moms dressed in business suits waiting for them to buy their food, and I

Survivor is up. 6 Playa’s, one prize, 1 month, there can be only one. Even if wetwired doesn’t get chosen for the “first season” it should be fun to watch the best blog writers out there.

In browsing blogger sites, I came across this one Blogmatrix Has a neat blogger map, and other tools. Upon further inspection I found that yes, Instapundit.com .

Another instance of a neat site gone bad with screwed up d00d sp34k. here.

But, I did find a good site in my trolling. Those goofy Canadians eh?

And this hot chick is listed as a hot blogging chick here. She lives in Houston, only 2 hours away from wetwired central.

Fade in: New Mexico, abandoned Drive in theatre. Concession stand.

Strange guy: Won’t you gentleman have a Pepsi?

Pylorns: Why do I get the feeling we’re in that movie Spies Like Us?

Don: You like that movie too?

Pylorns: Sure, Akroid, Chase; winning combination but come on, its so 80’s….

Jim: How did we get here anyway?

Agamemnon: Don’t look at me.

Pylorns looks at Don.

Don: What? I like the movie a lot.

Pylorns: My story!

Magik: This is f00ked and strange.

Jim: Well being stranded in a drive in movie theatre and being asked to drink a Pepsi is a bit strange, that’s for sure.

Don: Let’s just get a Pepsi.

Don, Jim, Pylorns, Magik and Agamemnon walk over to the Machine press the cup to the fountain, and *poof* the floor goes out from under them and they drop a 1000 feet and suddenly they are in bar called “Flanagan’s Cocktails and Dreams.”

Don: Cocktail?

Pylorns: What can I say? Its the bartender movie… what better setting for the last part of this drama?

Don: What the hell, you just dissed me for an 80’s movie, this one was made in 1988.

Pylorns: But re-released in 93.

Don: So what!

The group walks towards the bar and Jim grabs Don’s shoulder.

Jim: Don, I think on your platform you should repeal prohibition.

Don: Everyone would hate me!

Jim: That’s the idea.

Pylorns: That’s not a good idea Jim.

Jim waves his hand Obi Wan style

Jim: It doesn’t matter if its a good idea.

Pylorns: It doesn’t matter if its a good idea.

Jim: These are not the droids you’re looking for.

Pylorns: These are not the droids I’m looking for…

Agamemnon: Dude, snap out of it.

Pylorns: huh? oh yeah… Don, Drinks.

Don: ok ok, damn you guys pester me too much.

Don walks to the bar and buys a round of beer for the wetwired guys and they all sit down at a round booth style seat.

Don: Well, you have your drinks now are you happy?

Pylorns: Just about, but we’re missing a bar fight, gratuitous sex and Helen…

Don: Interesting how you fit gratuitous sex and Helen in the same sentence.

Pylorns: You just did too.

Don: Will you get on with this story? It

If you follow Jim and
Don they seem to bicker between each other constantly(for fun of course), anyway, they constantly tell stories about each other in dialogue format (my preference of writing) and I decided to join the frey. I’ve included both Jim and Don in my little story about Drinks with Don which hasn’t happened. If you don’t know about Drinks with Don, Click here to read about the contest he never announced a winner for.

Fade In: Don’s Place, stained couch, Don and Jim are arguing about the Presidential Platform for Don.

A knock at the door.

Don gets up to answer the door and its Pylorns, Agamemnon and Magik. Don has a look of amazement.

Magik: What up dogg!

Don: Who are you?

Magik: I’m Magik mother fucker.

Pylorns: And I’m Pylorns and this is
Agamemnon. We’re here for our drinks.

Don: You have got to be kidding me.

Agamemnon: We never kid about our liquor.

Jim: Look you guys, I’m busy pushing my Evil Democratic platform into Don’s brain for 2004 elections.

Pylorns: It doesn

Click here to view them. You will have to go into the forum to view them and if you have never logged in you will have to register. A small price to pay, and maybe you’ll enjoy the wetwired forums while your at it.

I did enlist the help of Wired Nerveto help me move over the archives of Kitty Say’s sight. Much thanks. Now, all of her previous posts from her old site are available at your fingertips.

I went looking for some new random blog to post about and sometimes it is really damn hard to find anything worth a damn. There are a lot of sites out there that just can’t freaking find thier own voice or have nothing worth saying. They should read DON’S MOSTLY USELESS GUIDE TO BECOMING A SUPERSTAR BLOGGER.

An interesting link I came across, something to watch as the site builds..

http://www.reallygoodfreelancewriter.com/blogforbusiness/

Blogging. The new tech tool that’s turning the old business promotion order upside down. Imagine: your rank-and-file employees may now be able to contribute as much to growing your business as your marketing department…

Visit this blog for regular updates on how blogging is changing how we view the business world.

So they decided to drop a computer into the M. Falcon. Pure geekness, but for those of us that grew up and had the action figures, it was only a matter of time before this happened.
Here is the link to look at the rest of the pics.

Don, who owes the staff of wetwired a beer, has decided to have another little contest, this time a survivor contest. This time its all about psychology and social interactions, but not actual pyshical interactions, online interactions. So how can this differ from a real game of survivor, excluding the whole physical challenge stuff? Well, online people are less likely to hold thier toungues when it comes to talking. Inhabitions are lowered a bit, and maybe its because this medium is more impersonal in relationships. Less formal in a way.

Regaurdless, we will be trying for a position and, if anything, it’ll be fun to see what people have to say.

Yeah, so here I am back at last and, as MJ put it, my Luggage fell off the plane. My pictures which I had burnt to cd are stuck in the bag… and some other useful items like a toothbrush! “I’ll just use the one I scrub the toilet with!” I screamed at her.. on the inside.

“So basically I’m not going to get my bag tonight?” on the outside…

“Yes sir, hopefully we can find it and get it to you tomorrow”

“Quit having sex with wild frontier animals and get me my god damned luggage!” on the inside.

“OK, so there is nothing I can do but wait.” on the outside…

“I’m sorry sir, we hope that this does not effect your view of Frontier Airlines, it does happen from time to time.”

“Your fucking right it does! Screw your company your buffalo and your gay flight attendents!” On the inside…

“No, no.. I know it happens.. you have a good night.” on the outside…

There are two pics on the side of the page taken from my phone cam.. crappy pics, they’ll have to do until I get my bag. When they figure out WHERE IT WENT!

Blogger has changed thier website yet again, I think the old way was better, this new blogger way of posting doesn’t allow me to see a calendar or quickly edit posts it seems.

It’s nice to be on vacation. My bday has been great, seen some great scenery, and tonight were having a party. Yes a day after my real bday. Anyway, thanks to all of you that gave me a call and wished me a happy one, much apreciated. I am now a quarter of a century old. I’ve got some ideas for new articles I’ll be posting. Rant: Grocery Stores; and Country Life. I had a few others but I completely forgot them.. maybe I’ll remember later.

I am doing something different, I have taken all sorts of new pics from my trip, some really cool ones, like de-icing on a plane. When I was in Denver they had snow on the ground and had to de-ice the plane because it was accumulating on the wings. I took pics out the window of them deicing my plane and some others. I may post one or two on the main site, but for the most part I am going to post a photo journal not on the front page, not in the gallery, but only on the forum. So in order to see the pics, you’ll have to login to the forum. And if you’ve never logged in you will have to register. Yes a sneaky trick I know, but it’s not so bad.