Need a girlfriend online? Need to make one jealous.. well here’s your chance:

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2962323541

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Survivor first challenges are in and its time to vote on which is the best, check it out and vote. I can’t tell you which is mine because .. well it wouldn’t be fair to the others and Jim probably would make me fuck his cow. Anyway, if you know me you’ll probably figure out which one is mine in the first place. So vote damn you.

So I was in the bathroom… Isn’t that where all good stories begin? Ok, I was in the shower and I was shampooing my hair, and it hit me (not the shower). I was daydreaming about the showers I used to take with an X of mine. She had/has jet-black hair, and didn’t like it, so she’d shampoo with this dye shampoo that would leave light brown streaks in her hair.

I really didn’t think anything of it until I realized that I missed taking showers with her. I miss watching that brown dye run down and form in a pool around her feet. I missed when she would complain about being a bit cold; I

Some days the site, and the blogging community is just slow. Today, to me, seems that way. Hell my work is so slow that I’m actually doing something to keep me occupied. Pass the time until I can go home and take care of …. well nothing really, aside from the normal hustle and bustle of everyday life. Single life is good sometimes. I have a couple other posts I have almost done, and my entry for survivor is almost done as well, but I am saving them all for tomorrow, for another fun filled day of blogging.

What have I found out today in my boredom. Emily er Emmie, is a cool chick and watches her site like a hawk.

Jim is a vet. Go to his site and thank him. Regaurdless if he trys to pimp his cows or the other survivors…

Xavier is right. Words such as “so” “like” and “totally” are annoying when used mulitple times in a sentence.

Okay, there are three words that need to be erased from conversational vocabulary. ‘So’, ‘like’, and ‘totally’ should be banned for at least three years so that college kids everywhere can learn to be individuals again. If I hear one more sentence that starts with ‘I was so totally like so like oh my god!’ What exactly is being ‘oh my god’? As a matter of fact, ‘oh my god’ should be banned for at least 6 months. COLLEGE KIDS, so like totally do not a sentence make…..

A somber day for remembrance. Today we celebrate and remember the lives of our uniformed guardsmen, while they are currently being killed in a country we’re unsure of. We celebrate and remember the men and women, who have laid down their lives in effort to serve our country; regardless of how poor the leadership may or may not be in the past and in the present. We support them in reaching a common goal of protecting our rights and the rights of every individual.

Right now,in the news today , we have our boys in Iraq; where half the country doesn’t want them. A country whose people could be a terrorist or a helpless individual and there is no real way of telling until they run up to you as a suicide bomber. In a time where our country is split in half with opinions on whether our leadership is doing the right thing, and wanting to support our troops. Even if you don’t think we are doing the right thing, if you think that we are in there to protect our own interests, support our troops. They know they are doing the right thing; they are dying for the right thing. They are protecting human rights. They are defending the freedom of that countries people, they are defending our freedom.

I was sleeping last night and in my slumber I was awoken not once but 3 times…. Once by Jeff who wanted to form an alliance, even threatened me with his big stick.. er um bat. Once by Helen who offered.. well lets just say she offered something. And lastly by Jim. The last offer was the most outrageous. At first he offered to let me have a go at his cow. I asked “Do I look like a cow-fucker to you?

“Yes.”

“God damnit.”

“You get that a lot?”

“Yes” I said.

And then Jim offered to let me have a go at any one of the girls.

“Let me get this straight, you’re pimping out Helen, Emily and LeeAnne?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Can I have all three?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I haven’t struck an alliance with all three.”

“You mean to tell me that you’ve already struck alliances with some of them?”

“No.. not yet”

“So basically your offering something that you don’t even have.”

“Yes.”

“That’s evil”

“That’s me.”

I rolled over, put my head back on my coconut and went to sleep.

Sniper on rooftop
slowly focusing her aim.
Red mist obscures view.

Curiosity.
Strange sound coming from cellar.
Decapitation.

What’s in the freezer?
Are you sure you want to look?
Dahmer dinnertime.

Blindfolded and gagged,
he begs for someone to help.
Chainsaw motor starts.

Ok Ok. Those were a bit gruesome. I was in a gruesome mood. It happens. Hopefully I haven’t scared away any of the new readership. I’m a nice guy. Really. It’s just that I watched Last House on The Left, Phantasm, 28 Days Later, and House of 1000 Corpses over Halloween and I’m reading an ancient paperback of old proto-horror short strories called The Dark Side. This tends to have Mr. Brain visiting murky, shadowy alleys that are normally best left undisturbed. I’ll leave my next set of haikus up to you, the reader. I was thinking about some soft-core Harlequin romance passages. Comments or suggestions?

Oozingly yours,
Self-Inflicted Wound

When you talk all I hear is the Prozac

I heard this on the radio.. that

So, here we are , stranded on an island… a blog island.

click for full size.

Weak Sauce. I’ve heard this for a long time.. but I heard some chicks talking about it on the airplane last weekend and thought.. why not tell magic all night that he had weak sauce. MJ and I spent the entire night doing that, hillarity ensued.. pics prove it.

Pics are posted here.

All I can say is damn. If you weren’t there you missed an awsome evening. Kitty and Wired Nerve showed up as planned and the drinking began. We found out these things last night:

You can’t take pics in a sex shop.
There are some items at a sex shop that put humility in the average guy.
You can’t take pics in a strip club (already knew that one)
Always bring a hot chick in to a strip club with you.
Always buy that hot chick a lapdance. Trust me. To MJ and Wired Nerve that bought her a lapdance, thank you guys, we can cross that thing off the list.. actually cross a couple things off the list. (Wired Nerve)
Don’t eat the Conch Fritters from Magaritaville and then proceed to drink… alot… Yeah. Bad Idea.

Just a note we’ve made it to Baton Rouge this morning around 1:30am. Woke up and are getting ready to head on down to New Orleans for the day. Magik, MJ, myself, Brian, Kitty Says and Wired Nerve are all planning to meet up at the Howl at the Moon on Burbon this evening, needless to say, the pictures will be interesting funny as hell. Straw shots and hopefully some b00b shots.. so Monday the pics will be posted er … at least we hope to get the pics posted.

Original Article from CNN, here. Oh yeah, and we just got the satalite working.. you can bet I’ll be checking this out.. hehe…

Show asks: ‘Can YOU Be a Pornstar?’
‘Real people having real sex!’ exclaims ads

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — A new reality TV show asks the question: “Can YOU Be a Pornstar?”

Mary Carey, the porn actress who ran for California governor in the recent recall election, is among the hosts, joining fellow adult-film stars Tabitha Stevens and Ginger Lynn.

Silhouette Productions announced plans Monday to shoot seven one-hour shows, with plans to start broadcasting on iN DEMAND Networks and other pay-per-view channels on January 8.

A group of 28 women will compete for a one-year contract with a major adult video distributor and a cash prize of $100,000.

“It’s going to be an R-rated version for pay-per-view,” Silhouette Productions chief executive officer Harry Feingold told The Associated Press. “Obviously, there will be outtakes that will be hardcore,” which will likely turn up on DVD release later.

“It’s like ‘Paradise Hotel,’ when they go behind the scenes. Everybody wants to know what’s going on. Well, here you see it,” he said, referring to the Fox network reality series about young people trying to seduce each other.

In each episode, four women arrive at a house in Los Angeles for photo shoots, interviews and “surprises,” according to Silhouette. Viewers will help pick eight finalists for a 90-minute finale.

The statement promised “uninhibited nudity and sizzling sexuality,” while the show’s official Web site said it would feature “Real people having real sex!”

“Pay-per-view gives us the freedom to take reality television where it has never gone before,” Feingold said. “The last stigma today for audiences isn’t renting adult films, it’s admitting it, and this series offers viewers a fun, behind-the-scenes look at the star-making process in a multi-billion dollar industry.”

He added that the show is designed “not just for men, but for wives and girlfriends who enjoy both reality TV and adult entertainment.”