While I was sleeping…
posted by pylorns
I was sleeping last night and in my slumber I was awoken not once but 3 times…. Once by Jeff who wanted to form an alliance, even threatened me with his big stick.. er um bat. Once by Helen who offered.. well lets just say she offered something. And lastly by Jim. The last offer was the most outrageous. At first he offered to let me have a go at his cow. I asked “Do I look like a cow-fucker to you?
“Yes.”
“God damnit.”
“You get that a lot?”
“Yes” I said.
And then Jim offered to let me have a go at any one of the girls.
“Let me get this straight, you’re pimping out Helen, Emily and LeeAnne?”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Can I have all three?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t struck an alliance with all three.”
“You mean to tell me that you’ve already struck alliances with some of them?”
“No.. not yet”
“So basically your offering something that you don’t even have.”
“Yes.”
“That’s evil”
“That’s me.”
I rolled over, put my head back on my coconut and went to sleep.
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