You meet someone new, you’re attracted to them. You can’t wait to tear their clothes off and find out how they feel, how they taste, how they smell. But you have to wade through the beginning relationship antics. Finally the night comes, the kiss that leads to groping that leads to “Do you think we should go back inside?”

“I don’t know, do you think we should?”

“I think its better inside than trying to do this on your hood…”*

“Ok, lets go.” You say as you grab his/her hand and make way back to the bedroom. *

Running up the stairs, groping and grabbing each other along the way, anticipation nawing at you, you reach the bedroom. Tearing off each others clothes you hit the bed and explore your bodies. She goes for chest and his manhood; he goes for her chest and woman hood. Kissing and caressing until, finally in one smooth movement. He’s in. Like electricity, he knows a feeling that is unique every time, and she finds out if he lives up to all that smooth talking before hand. After what seems an eternity, (if all goes well) they collapse in a heavy breathy sweaty mess, tired, hot, and glowing.

The next time, its the couch, or the kitchen, roommates permitting, then back to the bedroom. After a couple weeks you suffice to just staying in the bedroom, you’ve learned each others positions and just suffice to doing those to get yours and pass out and go to sleep. Routine. Boring. What happened?

Maybe you tell yourself your getting old, maybe its just more convenient to just be routine. Maybe your just making excuses for boring sex. What is wrong with you? Reading this, I will give you my hints for keeping it interesting, in a quick fast paced couple word answers.

Kama Sutra, Spin Cycle, Kitchen table, hood of a car*, flavored condoms, massage oil, cell phone on vibrate, bj on a drive, swiming pool, hot tub, skinny dipping, strawberries, sunsets, camping trips, air matresses, celophane wrap, jello, vibrator, trampoline, back seat of a volkswagon, whipcream, who’s your fav. New Kid?, call me donnie, dr ruth, german techno, barry white, fireplace, bottle of wine, elevator, hot wax, pedro, shower, workout room, office desk, movie theatre, escalator, opera house, mile high club, sky diving, fast food, ocean beach, morning bout, deep sea fishing, sailing, a bathroom stall in a bar in stockholm, phone booth, iisac hayes, leonard cohen, al green, stevie wonder, body shot, quincy jones, hand-cuffs, shaken not stirred, fingercuffs, fire hydrant, Paris, ky, roses, chocolate syrup, and a partridge in a pear tree.

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