Ever seen Magnolia? You find that part where Tom Cruise, aka. Frank T.J. Macky, talks about his seminar and book Seduce and Destroy? “In this life, it’s not what you hope for, it’s not what you deserve — it’s what you take. Do you think they’re your friends? They’re not your friends. Do you really think she’ll be there when things go bad? Huh? When things go wrong? You think again. Fucking Denise. Denise the piece. Oh, you’re gonna give me that cherry pie sweet mama baby! ”

Well it was total chauvinistic - testosterone- filed made-for-tv hokey crap that is funny as hell. But, and I stress the “but,” the idea is based on proven psychological techniques of human interaction. Now some of the stuff he talked about, it helps to be Tom Cruise. If Tom Cruise were to walk up to a woman and say, get on your knees. A good percentage of women would consider it just because of him being a star. So don’t try that one unless you are indeed Tom Cruise.

So what can an average guy do to attract good looking women? What attracts a woman to a man when she sees him in a bar? What can an average guy do to get that woman? Certainly cheesy pickup lines and bright smiles can only go so far. I guess you need to ask yourself what are you looking for. Are you looking to take her home just for the night? Are you looking to meet that soul mate and take her home forever? Well sorry to say, most of the time your not going to meet your end all be all in a bar - (aside from my roommates but they are hobbits).

First of all, regardless of what they say, I’ve posted about this before, women are not looking for someone with personality. That’s what gay men are for. There are numerous articles about instinct, survival of the species and how the attractive mate with the attractive. How often do you really see a drop dead gorgeous girl with a guy that looks like the hunchback of Notre Dame? Exactly. I’m not going to dwell too much on it other than to say that women are looking for a good looking guy, or a guy with some quality that appeals to them.

After surveying women friends of mine, most of them look at eyes and for a good smile. After that, they look for the awe inspiring muscles. So what do you do if you aren’t a muscle bound gift from the Gods? Something different. In thinking of what a guy could do different, a conversation starter, I came up with these silly thoughts.

1.) A crazy t-shirt. This is good, you don’t alter your body in anyway and with the right funny t-shirt, she might even walk up to you. Now, you have to be very picky in your choice, and know the bar that your going to. You don’t want to go into a gay bar with a t-shirt that says “inflate here” and points to your crotch. Most likely it will get you beaten to a pulp by 2 women who are more manly than yourself.

2.) Dye your hair. Yes, dye your hair some off color. This will definitely attract attention. Now just make sure you don’t dye your hair and come to work the next day to find yourself out of a job. I suggest something subtle. Ever look at those guys who have this little white streak in their hair? They always say some traumatic event causes that. Could be child birth, could be struck by lighting, could be you watched your parents murdered in front of you… You get the idea, someone will want to know. I’m not saying dye your hair like that and then come up with a story, but if you did, I’m sure you could come up with a really good story.

3.) Become a human pin cushion. Yes, make the decision to put a few pieces of metal in your body. And by all means, pierce that tongue and show it off because they know what that tongue can do. You may not be able to enunciate her name, but what does it matter if she

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